And that concludes our presentation.

With that, we've finally laid the ghost of Project Work to rest in pieces. My script went to shreds immediately and my name tag was ripped apart.

I wasn't angry or anything; I've became far too cynical to be trifled over mere 'Earthly' matters. What does it matter, anyway?

I knew I messed up my presentation, referred to my script too many a time and stammered and stuttered, but the only person to blame is myself; writing the script the day before and trying to memorise it the next day is definitely not going to work. Not that it mattered, anyway.

Oh yeah, found Liyana by the rock climbing wall after OP and she told me that she ain't surprised that I screwed up my OP. For some reason, I have a feeling that people are thinking that I'm 'bo chap' and good-for-nothing. It's good for laughs anyway, I'm glad that OP is finally over and the grades don't really matter. After all, it's just a university entrance criteria.

I was actually reading manga at around 3am on Thursday night. Y'know, sometimes you wonder how the invention of the computer and the Internet has really destroyed enjoyable little moments like reading a book or a manga in a corner. Now, there are mangas online and e-books on Amazon.

But I rattle on unnecessarily. This post took me three days to write.

In which I would really love to thank the rain for giving me a very serene and tranquil atmosphere to ponder about stuff.

Again, about things which I hold no power onto. Human interactions, global warming, Armageddon (Yes, 2012, Mayan calender thingy.) and purposes.

And again, if I were to go into my thoughts into detail, it'll probably take an hour or two; I do not have that patience.

Okay. So I had my first really official outing in a while. Official as in non-work related, all fun only. (Not that I actually am all-work-no-play when it comes to work-related outings.)

But really, I don't hang out with my JC acquaintances. Perhaps it's me being a jerk for ostracizing them due to them being neighborhood kids who, really, might be less intellectual than rocks. You just can't have a good conversation with them, or maybe it's due to me not trying. But if you, yes overused, turn the board the other way, it could be me being an obnoxious elitist who in actuality is less intellectual than them. So it works both ways but I still feel that I don't 'click' with them.

So, the usual routine goes, YY and I being really high... and the jokes, racist ones, lame ones, Kai Wei related ones, you name it. Pool, Carls Jr., Swensens.

The highlight of the night was actually the round of red wine and Erdinger we had at my place. And no, Park didn't puke (again). I know how red wine and Erdinger don't mix well. Yes. But still, it felt good drinking with company, for a change.

And YY brought to my attention the danger of drinking liquor: Liver Cirrhosis.

Anyway, I love the morning weather now. The rain. The serenity. Really, I felt like completing my LotR while sitting on my sofa outside. I'm sure it'll feel really good and 'at scene' if I read the forest parts. Y'know, fantasy settings and all.

The only thing that makes me irk in forests are the creepy crawlies. Yucks.

Yeah, disjointed post, I apologise for the lack of consistency 'cos this took place over a 3 day period and if you've followed my blog through, you'll know my over-the-day blog posts are usually. USUALLY. not really good.

If there's anything to take away from my post it'll be this: Enjoy the good weather as it is before global warming destroys it. Make use of the serenity to be one with nature and spirit. It's really the best time to ponder, reflect and think.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [12:54 AM]*

I can't believe how much of a loser I am.

I got ultra-dizzy today after being (as usual) on the PC for more than 10 hours.

Warning. Explicit content. Do not read this if you are eating or planning to eat.

I puked my whole lunch out. Five times.

It was hor fun. The puke was rad because I ate chili. When I puked, it was like boomz and everything came flying out. The tao ghey flew out. The hor fun flew out. But my headache was there, steel. The red puke came out five time. So it was like boomz times five. Too bad there wasn't any leopard or zebra prince.

So what was the cause for it? Lack of sleep, too much stress and too much time on the PC.

Motion sickness.

It's so fail because I don't have sea/air/car sickness but I have motion sickness. Yeah, I get dizzy while playing FPS. Believe me, it's really irritating.

Yes and puking five times is not cool. I'm not even drunk, please.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [9:29 PM]*

Greetings all. Before you read my post, let me ask you a question. Have you seen or heard a bass? Or have you ever pondered about the bass or the sound it creates? If not, let me take you through what a bass is capable of.

If you take a look at the bass, you'll notice how it stands alone in the dark corner of the room, often unnoticed and forgotten. Its lanky neck is met with a maple-red body and the metal strings which stretch over its lean body is what produces the deep, resonating sound of a bass.

An instrument that is easy to pick up yet hard to master. Bass lines can be as simple as going through a simple progression in 4/4 timing, or as difficult as scaling through arpeggios to provide the solid foundations of a complete song. For the adventurous, Fusion, Jazz, Soul, Blues, or whatever you'd like them called, can be the epitome of the bass. Pop and slap, the delightful abuse of strings which produces a percussive sound and the 6/8 time signature, a hallmark for the Blues.

The bass is a very versatile instrument and while it can be the backbone of a song providing rhythm and backing, it can also fly into high-revving shred mode, fiery fingers fluttering across the fretboard, culminating in a mind-blowing solo.

However, this fantastic instrument is often misunderstood. How pathetic it is that it is stereotyped to be just a low-profile nobody; destined forever to play behind the flamboyance of the guitar or the ear-splitting shock waves of the drums. But it is not.

It's beauty lies in its solitude and quietness. An ethereal grace seem to protrude from its reverberating strings, producing a sonorous pitch that can reach deep down into the depths of your heart and soul. Many people let this mystical property of the bass go past them unnoticed. Yes, I say it's the fault of these people that the bass is unnoticed instead of the natural properties of the bass itself. They either cannot appreciate the bass's beauty or they plainly refuse to believe in its charm. I'm not saying these people are wrong, for I'm in no position to condemn.

However, I am one who have opened my mind and soul to the bass. If one would be as shallow as to call its inconspicuousness a flaw, then I wholeheartedly accept its flaws. You could call it love, I guess, since one in love would definitely embrace the other party's flaws, if you could call 'em flaws. For me, the bass which stands inconspicuously behind the racks of guitars and sets of drums is what makes it a beauty.

That's not to say that a bass lacks capabilities to overpower its counterparts. A virtuoso can easily perform a solo with a bass with technicality that matches or even surpasses the guitar. Furthermore, I do think that the understanding of music theory is more important for bass than the guitar, since for all its simplicity, it is a very complex and enigmatic instrument.

They say that a still tongue keeps a wise head and I think that idiom fits very well with the bass. One would be intrigued to probe and understand the bass more for it 'speaks' very little. And the lack of prominence doesn't equal to a lack of depth. For it can very well be even more intriguing, captivating, profound and intelligent than the loud and noisy drums or the overly-flamboyant and crowd-pleasing guitar.

Be warned, for the bass comes with an attitude. As fierce and rash as a tiger it can be, or as calm and still like the waters of a lake. It is this attitude which I admire, and transition in between isn't as frequent or unwarranted as one might think it is.

In a nutshell, don't judge a book by its appearance. Heed attention; the bass can be as intangible and elusive as the winds. Seek counsel; still water runs deep. Admire depth; empty vessels make the most noise. However, I cannot force my expectations onto others as different people have differing tastes. As always, though, as stubborn as the monkey (really bad pun on the 十二生肖） I will stand firm on my ground and for as long as the musicality never leaves, my gil's all on the bass. Its charm transcend time, for it's like wine; its beauty can only be more eminent as it stands longer on that lonely rack.

Take it from someone who plays both the guitar and the bass, I'd give up either for the other anytime because they're both really wondrous and fantastic instruments and to abolish that abomination of a stereotype, they're both really more similar than different. The only reason that I might favour the bass slightly more is that the guitar is really overrated while the bass is misunderstood and is really the underdog.

So, for all those bassists out there, keep making those strings tremble, and create beautiful music for the spirit of the musician lives in his instrument. Cheers to you all, for without the bass, a song is never complete.

PS. I really write better when depressed.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [7:14 PM]*

Whenever in doubt, jam.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [10:43 PM]*

I had my own concert today, at my own house.

Attendance: My maid who was watching the television, my mother who's in the room watching drama, and any other (un)lucky people who are within the blast radius of my amplifier.

Concert lineup.

Digimon - Butter-fly
Canon Rock
Rhapsody of Fire - Emerald Sword
Bon Jovi - It's My Life
Bon Jovi - You Give Love A Bad Name
Guitar improvisation
Canon Rock (Again.)
Warcraft III - Power Of The Horde
Random natural harmonic solo
Random pinch harmonic solo
Guitar improvisation (Again.)
Wild Arms I - Into The Wilderness
-Break-
(Guitar ensemble people, you'll lol at this. Yeah, all with the electric guitar.)
It Came Upon A Midnight Clear
O Little Town Of Bethlehem
Angels We Have Heard On High (Angels we have heard high on crack.)
Here Is Joy For Every Age
Ding Dong Merrily On High
Carol Of The Bells
-Break-
Medley of Smoke On Water, Stairway To Heaven, Sometimes I Feel Like Screaming, Far Beyond The Sun
Deep Purple - Burn
Iron Maiden - The Trooper
Iron Maiden - Heaven Can Wait
DragonForce - Far Above The Winter Moonlight

-End-

Wahahahaha. To tell you the truth, I can't play 90% of the songs that I actually attempted to play. Most of the time I stumbled at the solo. But 'twas a good performance for a newbie like me. And the crowd was awesome, y'know.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [9:38 PM]*

In light of so many blogs flaming and swearing and ranting and cussing at PW...

I must say I hold a totally different, opposite, you could say, view on PW.

It's the epic mostbestest lesson. Ever.

You get to flame, swear, rant, cuss at other teachers/the crappy TPJC admin/everything under the sun/even the PW ST herself, in front of the PW ST.

You get to play PSP and don't give half a hoot for anything/anyone.

You get to openly, blatantly cuss at how crappy your team is in front of the whole class and put them to humiliating through terse sarcasm and superior wits.

You get to be king for one day when all those lowly mortals beg you to vet their WR, give them ideas. (Fact: After all the begging, I still didn't vet the WR. Our genius of a group leader labelled the Annex part as 'Annexes'. And for some reason it was a mistake.)

However, being the nice guy that I am, I didn't do so. Okay, maybe I'm guilty of all, but more of the PSP playing part.

Disgaea is awesome. Strategic (Think Hoshigami: Ruining Blue Earth, Tactics, La Pucelle, Fire Emblem) RPG mix with everything nice, cute, fuzzy and loli. Huge emphasis on the lattermost.

And I'm playing that 'cos Willis destroyed my Crisis Core save files. And with all Final Fantasies, I can't be bothered to play it over at the beginning. Again. And again. And again. (I'll save that save file from the evil clutches of the Pandarian Overlord Willis!)

Then there's DJmax, your ahbengfied music game. This doesn't need introduction, does it? Those Chinese hooligans blasting this game and playing the 28 notes that stream down the screen at 3800 bpm with their 44 fingers scrambling furiously on the D-pad. (Think Warlock Faceroll. Good ol' WoW. Or Diablo Faceroll works too.) The limited music selection puts me off. Add to the fact that 90% of the songs are techno, just really pisses me off. The 10% are still techno, but with teensy weensy bits of distorted guitar work.

Anyway, I need to start doing my OP and I&R now. Future procrastination by me will have serious repercussions. Real big ones.

Chinese A's is on Monday. Lol, I didn't really notice that until I looked up on the calender on someone's birthday. A painful reminder, indeed. Just hoping I'd get a D or a C and just get Chinese over and done with. After that I'll be a fully-fledged Bilingual-Singaporean-Who-Can't-Read-Chinese.

Better be doing my slides and I&R, hopefully be able to catch tonight inhouse.

That and we're totally going to trash Blackburn this weekend.

Peace! (And don't take PW or my views about PW too seriously; I sympathize with you all, after all, 'cos I've been through that shit too.)

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [6:44 PM]*

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [10:01 PM]*

Extravagantly, earnestly, erroneous.

That is us, my dear friend. Yes, you who name hath starteth with an 'E', for we cannot have 'fuwa fuwa' time.

We who tread on the thorniest path hitherto, can either choose to continue with this bloody path of self-damnation or give up.

Neither paths provide security, nor the enlightenment we so desperately seek. Only those which provide relatively more solace than the other, for what we seek is ever so elusive.

And when we eye others with envy, let not the sin shroud our myopic eyes, and let us see far. For one day, we'll finally be able to strive with perseverance and be one with epiphany.

I took a truckload of poetic license to write that one. It's so disgustingly presumptuous that I make myself vomit. A case of 'trying too hard' blown out of epic proportions. But then, it exists and denial of it brings only more pain. Something most of us (teenagers) can relate to, I guess.

Because the vicious circle hurts that much. I'd say it boils down to how one faces it. Put on a mask, cry, start mutilating yourself, attain spiritual tranquility, seek your Faith and religion, be (act) indifferent, turn yandere, (fake) smile it through or just be yourself.

Rofl, this post is really interesting because by the time I finished writing this piece of crap that I would lie and call 'a piece of writing', 3 people have already acknowledged this sad fact.

"Should I smile because she's my friend, or cry because that's all she'll ever be?" x3 - Quoted from a boy who has much insight. (Or emoness/stupidity, whatever you want lol.)

Because, girls, we guys are that gullible. Da~ka~ra, don't lead us on. Knowingly or not. But it's hard to say. (Omglol so cliche I want to cry blood.)


PS. Mio rapping on Fuwa Fuwa Time is freakin' awesome. I've been listening to J-Pop for a few months already, but they still don't get old. <3 And if I could get pass the airhead-ness of Yui (it's irritating.), then her voice (or seiyuu, you could say) is really fantastic. Fantastic as in ubermoe.

Anyone else realise that the Ministry of Education, ironically, is not in the least moe at all?

Yeah, I think it's a bad joke myself. Stone me to death with beach balls please.

PPS. I came into realisation that girls can lead guys on unknowingly themselves sometimes(all the time). Lol.

PPPS. OMG. I accidentally revealed a name. Luckily I changed it quick enough. Btw, that was 15 minutes of 'man' talk. LOL.


Lousy quality. But nevermind. Take time to appreciate the lol of my weaver.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [9:43 PM]*

GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

*Insert a 10 minute monologue filled with expletives ranging from English to Hokkien to Malay*

Livpool did play well, and we didn't match up to their form, I'll admit.

Some referee decisions were really off, I'll admit.

But how could we lose to them?!

Now I can't sleep.

Will United's lose foreshadow my retaining?

Perhaps.

FML.

OTL

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [12:08 AM]*

Heyyy. I realised WR needs to be handed in tomorrow, Chinese A's are next week and what the heck am I doing, wasting the weekends away?!

Hahaha, seems so like me, isn't it. Just to do nothing and stare at the friggin' computer screen day in, day out.

I need some non-PC related activity to keep my company.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [10:37 PM]*

Time is relative. And so is everything else. There is hardly anything absolute in this world.

Because every person takes on a perspective and everything is relative to a person's perspective.

And when time goes slow. Painfully slow. Crawling. You just get that vibe. That... 'feel' to write.

It takes some poetic license, but it takes, paradoxically, time to experience that slowness. It's something mystical and elusive; really difficult to achieve in the world we live in now. I want to disengage myself from the world we live in, not only because it's seriously, let's face it, a crappy place, but also because it gives me time to think.

The city's so loud that I can't even hear myself think. I mean, just day dream. Fantasize. Endless possibilities, and with all that creativity, create an outlet of expression be it in the form of writing or drawing or music. Not drawing 'cos I am epic fail in it. OTL

Music. Very interesting indeed, for 6 Harmonix may be adding a new member into our family. Anyway, we've decided to cover Butter-fly from the anime Digimon Adventures. You may not know from the title but I'm sure once you've heard it, you'd be like "yeah, that's old school". And I really love the riffs; chucked PW aside just to learn the whole song today. (Missed out solo though.)

Writing. I decided not to publish my fiction. My confidence took another beating when I saw another piece of work. So I decided to keep it in my closet for the moment. Anyway, I'm not much of a writer, so to speak, 'cos I haven't actually wrote anything substantial yet. And I reiterate the fact that my command of English isn't really fantastic, stop irritating me with that crap.

PW. A real killer. I can't believe I'm doing the bulk of the WR. And going to do the OP too. I can't believe I'm only one with brains and am able to think. I do believe, however, that in TPJC, sometimes common sense isn't that common after all and you need a Jovi to instill common sense into the brains of mindless zombies. Actually, no. My PW mates have been a great help and they're really good. I mean, seriously. It's just that, I think intelligence is some sort of talent which is inbred and there's no way you can get past that intellectual barrier that separates you and me. No, scoring straight As don't really prove anything to me either. (Note that I'm using a very indifferent tone when writing this, thus no offense meant and this is not a rant.)

Oh, I almost forgot.

Mr. Big's concert. It's all well and good. Playing was good, stage presence was awesome, and the four superstars really made the night wonderful and the $150 was money well-spent. Plus I've got this wonderful Mr. Big red-white shirt which I'll be wearing for National Day. Remember the time in TK when I wore a DragonForce shirt to school for National Day? I guess you can call it fan promotion. Two complaints though. I smoked 500 gallons of smoke that day. And, the music was so loud that my hearing is seriously impaired now. Impaired on the left, totally deaf on the right.

Cue Beethoven.

Anyway, I made an observation and came to realisation a few days back. It's something queer and funny. You want it, but you don't chase for it. When you chase for it, you don't feel like you're ready for it. When you have it, you don't want to lose it. It's something called love.

(Nono, this is not some rant post about relationships. I'm actually sober at 1am, writing this down while I'm still sober and not sleeping. It's too freakin' hot to sleep without air-con anyway.)

My observations show that Humans are funny creatures. Whatever they want, they'll reject with their mouths yet their actions show otherwise. I don't think anyone can escape from this reality. Consciously or not, we do it everyday and it's just the frequency and the degree in which we do this charade. But it's exactly this queer feeling that makes relationships all the more exciting and fun, isn't it.

There's always some human emotion and behaviour, rationale or otherwise, to be studied and observed. And then from there, manipulation occurs, for the better or worse, depending on the values of the person in question.

Anyway, here's my take on love. You love a person for (I will refer to the third person as a female so I don't sound gay.) all her insecurities. A lesson to take home; communicate and compromise. Foundations of a relationship. The idiosyncratic flaws and insecurities of that person, make them who they are, the unique them and you love them for that. (Oh, Park, I still love you even though you suck at DotA. You're still #1 in Chemistry in MJ, remember?) And sometimes, it's those insecurities that make them so human and lovable. May sound like bollocks to you, but I'm sure a few souls understand what I mean.

I hope.

So yeah, it's getting late(early), 1.30am. I think I have to sleep, maybe toss and turn for half an hour or so. Yeah. Want to catch up on sleep before 2nd November. A's. Helluva clash of date, seriously.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [12:37 AM]*

Here we go. Let's do some maths.

GP - 54/100.
Chemistry [2] - 68/100
Physics [2] - 30/100
Maths [2] - 61/100
Literature [1] - 50/100

You may find it weird but the biggest disappointment I had was when I received my GP grades. A high B grade is definitely achievable. Having 5.5/8 for the summary and 6/8 for the AQ just compounds the disappointment. Careless mistakes for the comprehension meant that my paper is just 28/50. Essay can't be any worst - 26/50. I figured I was overzealous in doing the paper. My style of writing just didn't come out strongly and the massive amount of things I wanted to write just made my essay messy and ... ugly. In my opinion, an essay should be beautiful and sleek. Yeah, this seems like Proof but really, a good composition needs to have that smooth flow and precision, not some slipshod work.

Anyway, let's just say I need to pass my Maths and get 30% for Physics, my promotion isn't really a 100% confirmed chop yet.

Maths: 70% of 61 is just 42.7. Since SA is a pathetic 6/100, 10% of that is negligible. So are my assignments. Plus I haven't really been handing in tutorials and have been sleeping through classes. Will the teacher be kind and give me at least a 5 for PAP so I'd promote?

Physics: 70% of 30 is just 21. That means PAP have to be a 9/10 for my to promote. Huge task, but is it possible?

That is if I imagined the worst case scenario, then I won't be promoted.

But teachers are kind to lazily smart students... desho?

Just for your information, the papers were really easy. Put any other JC student for the tests and he or she will probably get at least 90 for each paper.

Oh, my obsession with moe~moe~kyun still stands. The songs! Yes, I've downloaded most of the K-On! songs on my thumbdrive MP3. (Pathetic that I'm using such a contraption at this age, yes.) I think "Don't Say Lazy" with Mio's awesometastic vocals will really push me to work harder. >:)

Okay, this shall remain a short post. Good luck to those who want to promote to J2. Including myself. Please, give me that 10% PAP.

PS. I wonder if I can commit to Christianity without having to worship.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [8:31 PM]*

Hey, I know the recent few posts are really just me bitching and what I've posted is merely lacklustre content.

Ok, give me a few days of time. I won't say I have time, but I won't say I don't have, either. It's weird, but time works its own magic, in its own way.

I've thought about lots of stuff at night before I sleep. Some turned out to be really fantastic ideas! But as ideas go, they come at the worst timing and always catch you unawares. So, I've forgotten all these ideas which I'd love to share. Yeah, it's not depressing ideas, I assure you, for those cynics out there.

Anywho, finished Men In Trees, Tora Dora and K-On.

MIT is basically about a relationship coach and her endeavors. Really good stuff, talks about gender roles and relationships and all that. It's not boring GP lecture material, that I can guarantee. Heck, there are even some 'raunchy' scenes. But I think it's PG-13. Just suggestive scenes.

K-On. Can you spell K-On without M-O-E? I don't think so. It's the moe-sauce of the year. 4 cliche moe girls forming a band with an ero-sensei who likes to force-cosplay (cue: moe-service) her girls. Otherwise, it's really a cute anime. For something that's 13 episodes long, I don't think it's that bad, although there's definitely room for improvement. That and I'm insanely in love with its OP, "Cagayake! Girls". It's super catchy awesome. Ironically, Mio is the centre of attention for this whole anime, in my opinion. Why is it ironic, you'll know once you watch the anime. Not to mention Azunyan is lovely too. Then I can't decide between the three other leads. Actually, Mio, Azunyan, Ricchan and Mugi (*cough*yuri*cough*)tied and then the super-irritating-airhead-but-genius-guitarist Yui in that order.

Another plus is that the music they play and the animation is very real. It's quite cool to have such precise animation, although they really should have another season. I think they will have another season. It's just so... moe. You'd be wanting another season if you've seen Mio's vulnerable, teary, moe look. Moe-moe-kyun!

Tora Dora. Okay, this is some serious business. First of all, take out a piece of A3 size paper and a marker. Then, on the edges of the paper, write each character's name. (Doesn't matter if they're the main or not.) After that, link each character to every other character and there you have it, a relationship web. BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, IT IS THAT COMPLICATED. Actually, no it's not complicated but it gets frustratingly frustrating when they just won't adopt the 'go-for-it' approach.

I have some complaints though. The non-main characters are TOO underdeveloped. Minorin and Ami are SCREAMING in your face to have their characters DEVELOPED. There's just SO much room for more, but I guess Japanese are really good at climaxing their stories but the endings surely have room for improvement; I've had my good dose of wonderful animes coming to a cliche, rushed ending. (Note, all good animes have lousy endings. Why? 'Cos I don't want them to end. Oh, and please get Shaman King and Slam Dunk animators to continue animating the serious please. I'll be good for Christmas.) Anyway, I'm glad that Yusaku had decent development, although I'd love to see what happens after he goes to Japan.

However, the ending is really BAD. Why? 'Cos two wonderful girls like Minori and Ami are left to die. Then all the tsundere and Rie-cliches start appearing and they kiss... again... and again... and again... *scene fades*.

However, this is still a very good anime because of its wonderful slice of life which makes it so simple for us to relate to. But my heart goes out to Minorin and Ami, yes again. Minorin for being the unluckiest character. Having the person you loved AND your bestest friend leave you. That's just pure shit and resolution doesn't bring any sense of 'happily ever after' for Minorin. Ami, too, the one who knows the most yet tries to be tough. For some reason, the tsundereity of Ami seems to grab my attention more than Taiga's. Maybe 'cos I'm bored of all the Rie-cliches from Shakugan no Shana and Zero no Tsukaima.

Overall, the anime is still fabulous. Give it shot if you can stand its grueling slow pace (sometimes) and if you can stand how the friggin' Ryuji is a TOTAL RETARD.

Three girls falling for him and he's still oblivious. Damnit, makes you feel like wanting to smack his head with Taiga's bokken.

Okay, I've digressed a lot. This was supposed to be a short post. Have to go content-and-language vet my group's Written Report. Like, it's due next Monday and it's still not satisfactory. Pi = 3.141592654.

I've passed Chemistry (H2: C) and Literature (H1: D). Now, for ones which will determine my future: Maths and Physics.

But hey, after writing so much, I've actually wrote a decent enough post, desho?

PS. Mr. Big concert evaluation will have to wait for another day.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [10:37 PM]*

I apologise for my extreme bipolar mood swings this week.

Seriously, guys do experience mood swings at that time of the month, too. And yes, I understand that it's irritating that I did so.

Anyway, I've thought things out. Retaining isn't that much of an Armageddon even though it is.

So let's just do it the good ol' Jovi style and take things by my stride.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [12:29 AM]*

Well guess what, I got revived from my bed again. This happened TWICE within TWO days.

Just when I was about to sleep, my mother came and ask me THIS question.

"How do you convert voltage into amperes?"

No, she isn't testing my Physics knowledge, but she's now in charge of some shop which sells power converters or energy savers or something like that.

As usual, I got really pissed off. Not at her, not at that stupid technical question, but at the issues behind the question. It got my mind racing. Yes, at 12 midnight. Dreaming used to be a form of escape for me but nowadays I don't even dream no more. I'd even rather have nightmares because that'll make me feel wanted at least. Go figure.

I mean, the signs that your life is a load of crap is friggin' obvious when you have to wake up after everyone falls asleep just 'cos you can't and to blog about how much of a fail your life is. Nevermind that I'm downing w(h)ine shots again, but really, how much longer can this go on before I completely break down?

I'm clueless to what to do now. Should I run up to some 'Greater Sentient Being' and pray that all of my life is preplanned and laid out for me carefully and meticulously and spiced up with 'tribulations and hardships' and I must be really 'sabar' while enduring pain?

Not that I am anti-religion or anything, but it's great to have faith. But what about those who are faithless? Or rather, those who have experienced much to stay faithless. Definitely, it's nice and comforting to have a all-powerful being look out for you, but what about the others? Like I said, I'm not anti-religion and am not evoking anti-religion thoughts, but it's just something I thought of. While I'm still not drunk, mind you.

Well, I do remember this.

"Communication lies not on the shoulders of others, but on your own"

What about those who cannot attempt communication. It's basically their whole friggin' fault, damnit. It's like wanting something but going the entirely opposite way just 'cos you're so freakin' proud and stubborn. You figure it out yourself, genius.

I think it's best not to talk to me tomorrow morning. Not during Chinese, not during PW, and not during breaks. Why? Because I might be extremely infuriated and pissed, not because of my hangover, but because of the wreck of an accident I call my life.

Hey, I realise my after-shot posts are really emo. I think I should feel ashamed. And that I should chuck liquor out of my house. Trust me, I am not a compulsive and/or abusive drinker.

Who's to blame? After all, it's just myself who's to blame for bottling things up. And for being a wussy cowardly arse.

By the way, Mother, P = I²R = V²/R = V(V/R) and V=IR.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [12:00 AM]*

Getting a swarm of ants swimming in your supper drink is gross.

Wanna know what's worse?

Trying too hard.

That and when I drank. I frightened Yu Qian.

Not that I'm a bad drinker and/or abusive. But y'know, it's that time of the friggin' month.

Anyway, I don't know what's wrong with my these days. I don't know what's wrong anymore!


||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [11:34 PM]*

Seize the day. That's what some of us are doing now, but I ask you of this. Is it really okay to seize the day? What happens after you seize the day? Say, the consequence and effects of you seizing the day and living your life. If seizing the day meant that there will be serious repercussions, will you still carpe diem?

So, recently, my life has been in shambles. The previous post - although written when I'm under alcoholic influence - is not entirely false. Anyway, we make mistakes and we move on, otherwise human beings will be stuck in primitive times. But that is not to say I've moved on completely.

I mean, c'mon, I'm just a man and there's just so much I can take before being overwhelmed. The anxieties and frustrations keep piling up and it's killing me. Seriously, I go to school today with a slight hangover which escalated out of proportions when the thought of retaining hit me like a train. I slept throughout the whole Chinese lessons 'cos I told my friend "I had a hangover, now will you just shut up and let me sleep?" when in actuality, it wasn't the hangover but my fear. Yes, human beings are frail characters who succumb easily to fears and restrictions.

I'm one of them. Trying my best to stay true to my character, to my values. But how easy is it to be the 'true you' when the world is but a stage and the characters are merely just masks? It's hard to open yourself up when everyone around you wears their masks and do what they're best at: hiding. Ok, I'm not one to say because I do so too, but that's to protect myself. What happens when one's masks reeks of malicious intent? One even wonders who the 'true you' really are. Well, I wonder who I am, really. Is there anything I'm good at? What have I been contributing to society? Have I made an impact on anyone's life? Proof. It is elusive, especially more so for this scramble to find proof to our existence. To leave our precious, fragile footsteps in time. Is it too much to ask for?

All these insecurities are giving me a bad time and indeed, drinking every night just to help me sleep won't be a feasible solution in the long-run. Heck, it won't even help for the short-run. Having to feel estranged with your only kin left in the world isn't really a good thing, right? Anyway, I believe things have a way of sorting themselves out. (I guess it's called Faith if you have a religion.) I should stop letting things bothering me, I'm strong, right?

To be able to let it go with a smile, that's the best attitude you can adopt in life. Whatever life throws at you, lemon, grapes, pie, pikachu, you're able to turn them into juice.

Well, I'm doing all I can, to be a better man! And trying not to get overly-dramatic, cynical or harsh on anyone/anything. If I have been rude, please let me apologise in advance. I'm getting pretty cranky nowadays.

Anyway, I appreciate all the support I have these few days. Well, it's not as if I've been through a life-threatening experience or anything, (close to, though) but promoting is really a hazard. Or should I say, the failure to promote will be a hazard to myself. Okay, going to do some other thing which will keep my mind off the negativity now, goodbye!

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [8:00 PM]*

I'm currently living on borrowed time. Today's the last day of my 4 day long holiday.

Somehow, it all feels so hollow. There seemed to be something missing. It's difficult for me to pinpoint in, but if I were to sum it up in one word, it'll be spark. Or at least the lack thereof.

A spark. That's probably the start of a relationship - friendship, kinship or whatever - and probably what kills a relationship. The absence of a spark may result in the stalemate of a relationship, or worse, totally destroy it. When one loses the spark in which relationship is found, then the relationship is pretty much meaningless.

On the other hand, however, it's pretty much that one specific spark that is needed in order to start or rekindle a relationship. As they say, all relationships are held hostage by time. Time has a special ability to erode everything, and before you know it, your relationship with a friend, a parent, a lover will have turned cold and bland. Thus, even though complete prevention of this erosion cannot be done, one can be proactive and make sure that relationships don't fall apart. This means that mutual understanding and compromising, is obviously, necessary ingredients of a successful relationship.

Anyway, the weather these few days is, I'd say, awesome. Yes, I speak for someone who stays at home and not for those out-going ones, but rain is something very... scarce in Singapore. If it comes, it comes for weeks and if it doesn't, it just won't come. I'd say that rain is depressing and moody and all, but it really brings a kind of serenity you just can't get otherwise. Well, that is if one doesn't sleep through the rainy episode.

Hard as it is, it is imperative that I keep 'tight'. Otherwise, I'll just end up in the doldrums again.
No man is an island? I'd beg to differ.

PS. Mother just bought me some imported Japan dark chocolates. For some reason, they taste better than those found in Singapore. Or at least they taste better than supermarket brands like Meiji. Maybe it's just psychological...
PPS. It's 12.30am, I have school tomorrow, I can't sleep and I just downed two SHOTS of WINE in succession. Yes I know how weird that is, but hey, I just felt like drinking.

Maybe it's 'cos I was thinking, albeit too much. Physically tired but mentally active. Damnit and I have school tomorrow.

Thinking about all this while I didn't have a close friend whom I can rely on. And no, I'm not trying to sound pathetic and garner attention, mind you. I'm not bitching; I'm just saying something. Just take it that it's 12.30, it's late, I'm sleep-deprived and am under the influence. So, reflecting upon my life, I realised that I have few, or none, close friends whom I can count on. A confidant. An advisor.

I say this with an EXTREMELY BIG IF.

Yes, it's all about a plausible scenario. Let's say, you like this girl a lot and let's say it's your first time in (trying to get into) a relationship. So, how do you go about asking this girl out? Of course, if you had friends you'd have someone who can give you advice, to seek counsel from. Or let's say you're feeling down and have some seriously big issues in life which a normal seventeen teenager wouldn't normally face under normal circumstances. Or maybe, you just wanna bitch about this particular person or so or whatever.

What do you actually do?

And no, I reiterate my stand that this is just a plausible scenario and I'm in no way weak or pathetic or seeking help, thank you very much.

Bah, it's pretty much the freakin' wine's fault. I bet I can't hold my liquor well; two shots of 5% can make my head heavy. Guess I'm better off forcing myself to bed before I rattle on anymore nonsense. Okay, goodnights (or morning, if you prefer since it's close to 1am already.) everyone, I am going to sleep and hopefully won't get a hangover tomorrow. I doubt it. I'm not a drunkard.

And please, don't come all over me for 2 hours just 'cos I posted a seemingly 'emo and depressing' post and disappear later. Because I can see through facades as easily as I see through Clement Tan. (Or so I hope, my dear neighbour-cum-friend.)
Oh, that was not a personal attack. It was a compliment.

PPPS. That was pretty long for a PS.

PPPPS. Okay, that's breaking the record. But really, I do have some quite good friends actually. I just refuse to admit it. Stupid ol' personality of mine, I guess.
OKAY. This time, really off to sleep.


||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [6:03 PM]*

I had... a weird dream today. After drafting with my new-found DotA team 'til 5am yesterday, I found myself sleeping 'til 5pm today. I can't believe it; this sort of lifestyle is not suitable for me. That will be the last time I'll be doing this sort of stupid thing. I mean, I just can't afford to waste my life away like that.

Anyway, I dreamt about a group of friends and myself going on to a chalet, or sort of. It was like a super big resort. I even doubted that it was a Poly instead of a resort. Or a mix of both, maybe.

But the only people I remembered after I awoke was Henry, Shaun, Tricia and Richny. Pretty weird, eh? One of the incidents I remembered was ordering hot-dog and chicken with Henry and Shaun in the cafeteria. Weird, but upon retrospect, I realised that it was exactly the same back then in Secondary school.

Weird dream indeed.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [5:11 PM]*

Heyho, it's been a long time, my dear readers. Work and life has been bogging me down and really, there's just so much to life in the city.

What's happened lately, I guess, can be considered ups and downs in life. The joy you have when a relationship is found, yet, the disappointment you can have in others. Yes, this post will be about relationships, of course, not limiting to romantic ones only.

And as I write this post, I'm currently downing a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. Of course, it's my wine-drinking policy not to drink just to drown my sorrows and I still stay true to that. I'm drinking because I somehow felt like it, that bottle has been sitting on the shelf for far too long...

Anyway, it wasn't really my taste, or was it coming on too strongly? I didn't know, it tasted overwhelming at first, but I guess that's how red wine really is. Something distinct about it, something characteristic of it. There's just so much of quality you can find in a $40 bottle, right?

Just yesterday, I was really frustrated. I walked out of the Physics paper down and out, as if the whole world's dead. Or at least my whole's dead. I could have definitely flipped a table or two and throw a Rooneytrum, but that's definitely not going to solve things. The chance of retaining, of my Japan trip being canceled, of staying in a crappy school for an extra year, the endless negativity of possibilities just sprung up in my face! I couldn't cope with it, I almost broke down. Of course, after coming so far in life and experiencing so much that yours truly is ab-so-lute-ly cynical to the bone, I didn't really break down. All it took was some games, some Men In Trees and some manga to get me back to 'good ol' Jovial' mode.

But it was definitely my fault. My secondary school mates turned up at my place and asked me out for an impromtu outing/dinner. Being me, I found it hard to reject a party invitation. (Of course, it wasn't very much a party. It just somehow seemed... weird.) So it was definitely hard for me to choose: Between my acquaintances, or my life. I believe I chose the former not because I'm extremely close to them, but rather of my weakness; I ran away. Overconfidence and arrogance may just be an exterior, but definitely, raw, human emotions are tossing and turning inside of me. It's just very hard to accept the fact that I'll get retained. It's just not that. It's just myself, not being able to come to terms with, well, myself.

I don't have any expectations. I don't know if it's good or bad, but there's no stress, no motivation. It just didn't cut to do well; what for? That's why life didn't had no purpose. One of the few reasons I tried to study for O's ... well, 'cos of Mrs. Chee. It's awkward, but when someone believes in you, wants you to do well, you suddenly have that motivation to really work hard. And it's weird, but I was motivated by a certain Christmas card I received last year. Anyway, it's only when you have expectations and people to rely on, then will you really have the motivations to do good, be it in life or studies.

And that's part of relationships. There must be trust, it's a two-way thing. I've learnt a lot from watching Men In Trees; whoever said TV dramas are mindless ought to be shot. Participating in active thinking when watching a dramedy, especially one which deals with so many issues, is definitely far from mindless. Ok, I'd better stop rattling on lest I end up writing a GP essay.

So. Relationships. Burdens and loads, it there really a right time to let it go? If so, can you carry on life as it is? Those are really questions which have no definite answers.

It's all mumbo-jumbo, hocus-pocus, abracadabra. Yes, relationships are like magic. And even more so if it is one that is complex. For the guys, that line that says 'we'd like to back out a bit just to test the waters' hits the bullseye. For the ladies, isn't 'talking it through' the usual method? That is not to say I encourage gender stereotyping, please. Auburn, and consequently Fernandez and Sukhvinder, has taught me not to make sweeping statements. (Count Lim in if you want, damnit.)

But I rattle on. No, I'm not drunk after my third glass, it's merely wine. I miss Chivas though. It's one of the best liquor I've ever tasted - yet. Best wine flavour goes to Merlot, definitely. I'm not a big fan of rum, but I'd say the breezer is a good one for me. I'm not sure about gin, I can't believe I passed up a chance of taking a shot of gin over at Yoke's.

I'll end my post rather prematurely, and yes, I know it's turned out to be a bad habit for me to almost always end off just when the post reaches its climax. For now, I'll end with a question for you. Some people have been moving on and accepting others into their lives, while others are burdened by the past. Do you think that maybe staying put is sometimes a better alternative than moving forward?

Ok, so the saying goes 'a glass of mik before you sleep makes you sleep better' turned out to be 'a glass of wine before you sleep makes you sleep better'. It'll probably treat my new-found friend: insomnia. I'll be off to sleep now, goodbye, my readers. Till next time!

Y'know about the Sauvignon coming up too strong? It turned out to be sweet after all. (On my third glass, that is. But I'm stopping for the night, saving the other half for some other, hopefully more joyous, occasion.)

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [11:29 PM]*

Contain it. Break down, dissolve and absorb.

Never back down.

That was so uncharacteristic of me.

Now, it's back to square one. Think,think and think.

Resolve the complicated vectors in life.

Maintain the fragile equilibrium.

Exude the Confidence that makes me who I am.

For I fear nothing.

This is it, make my time, soar in the winds.

Fly.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [12:12 PM]*

Actually, more trivia after my emo post, okay? Bear with me.

I don't even know how to start. Conformity sucks, and one against conformity means one against society. Which pits you one against a sea full of retards. (Well, most of them are.) I can see why genius and madness is always linked. Actually, you don't have to be a genius to be mad in the first place. You just have to go against the majority and be the minority.

I whine and whine, but there's just so much you can do before the odds are so overwhelming that you quit in adversity's face(s). Y'know, I've continued on the rough road for 17 years. And as I grow older, more mature and definitely more cynical, I wonder if I can still hold on. Hold on to my beliefs. Hold on to solitary. (Ok, not true solitary, but yeah.)

Faith. It's something I lack, I reject yet I yearn. It's really complicated stuff, or so I would like to think. I've been so depressed that I've stopped studying, gaming and everything all of a sudden. I think I'll start listenin' to J-pop and play my guitar already, because music heals all. Maybe I should learn music theory. Maybe I can be in a band once I drop out of school. Maybe I'll end up being like that useless bastard of a bastard.

I don't want to be him, yet I'm unconsciously steering myself into destruction. Other kids have figures to look up to, what about me? The nonexistence of expectations, the long-forgotten care and camaraderie, the existence of a non-existent character - me - to seek solace in my fantasy. In my music, in my writing. Escapism only works so long reality doesn't recall you back. I really need that Timeless Miracle.

There goes Hopes and Expectations. Perhaps, I just don't get it, I just don't understand. I'm really tempted, but I won't write 'shiranai'. (Well, at least I'm in the mood for a joke.)

Anyway, I'll come up with more trivia to (hopefully) drive away the emoness.

Trivia #21: I sound like a Canadian when I lose my voice. (Source: Jiashun)

Trivia #22: Men In Trees is an awesome dramedy.

--Half time for United and they're down 0-1. Play today was really pathetic. Perhaps the players caught a cold?--

Trivia #23: I can't decide between Giggsy and Rooney. Giggsy definitely looks better and plays consistently. And Giggsy doesn't dive.

Trivia #24: I love the times during December holidays when I read LotR into the twilight hours and after that watched The Stuntman (Lee Majors, mind you!) and Men In Trees. Sometimes it was Whose Line, sometimes it was Distraction.

Trivia #25: I'm tired.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [12:12 AM]*

AN: This is just a sad excuse for me to leave my papers and come online to write. Also another pathetic attempt at keeping my blog alive, I guess. Anyway, here goes.

Trivia #1: I only got into football when I'm in JC.

Trivia #2: My weight has never overshoot the 50kg mark. Yet.

Trivia #3: When I'm bored, I do stupid stuff like this.

Trivia #4: I have a car-shaped birthmark on my back. (Which is gradually becoming less car-like as my growing body distorts the shape.)

Trivia #5: Pikachu is mostly yellow.

Trivia #6: In the making of this blog, no lifes were lost.

Trivia #7: My favourite DotA hero is Techies. (Ask me for replay when my techies took on three other heroes (Weaver, Silencer, Luna) at late game and won)

Trivia #8: There is no cake Trivia #9.

Trivia #10: I'm single. (LOL)

Trivia #11: Facebook, like Singapore Pools, destroys families and lifes.

Trivia #12: Domo-kun is in your base, watching you.

Trivia #13: Trivia #14 is false.

Trivia #14: Trivia #13 is true. (I <3 paradoxes. Keeps the brain thinking.)

Trivia #15: The answer to level 10 is 'cheesecake'.

Trivia #16: I've been listening to J-pop for the past week, and still going. Basically, it's difficult to sing along to (I ain't Japanese fluent), relatively less headbangish and reminds me of good ol' time. (However, I still air-guitarbass along sometimes.)

Trivia #17: If you take the product of the amount of time you spent on the computer in seconds and the amount of cheese you ate in kilograms and divide it by the difference between the number of legs you have with the number of hands you have, you'll miraculously get 42.

Trivia #18: I don't like Sci-Fi stuff. Otherwise I'll write a book about how humans become allergic to water. That means I don't like Mecha too. Sorry, Gundamn fans.

Trivia #19: Luna is awesome. The Moon radiates its lovely luminous beauty to me. Happy Mid Autumn Festival, kids. Go fly some kite lanterns.

Trivia #20: The cake really is a lie!

I'm bored. Shoot me.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [8:53 PM]*

GP. I was pretty hyped up/nervous. I'm not sure if both go well or not but yeah, GP paper was a total breeze with the exception of my really disjointed flow of thoughts. Y'know, a beautiful essay is like a proof. It's so streamlined and perfect that it's a joy to read it. A beautiful proof is not lumpy and is very elegant. Much like how I wished I wrote my essay.

Anyway, I spent the whole Friday playing. Yes, I hope I won't come to regret that, but shit happens. I was really tired after working out for half an hour. (And yes, I'm old.) Can't say I used to have the vigor I had when I was younger.

Talking about GP made me think: There is always the other side of the coin. Much like how it's unfair of me to impose my perfectly flawless expectations to others, it is also unfair of them to trouble me with their lowly standards. Just food for thought, but anyway, I should show more restrain. (I've been saying that for ages. I should stop. Swearing.)

So yeah. Shit happens and tomorrow is United against Sunderland; missing out on further revision time. Anyways, I really feel what Ernest said was true: GP over = Promos over. :)

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [11:47 PM]*

AN: Posts these few days will be my match-by-match analysis of my Shaolin Showdown against Promos. The battle begins!

Armed with my pen and my reliable jacket, I shall enter the battlefield tomorrow. Will the frosty halls devour my spirit? Or will I emerge victorious from the hellhole? If you think about it, it's just GP and I'll probably breeze through it and get a D, or maybe a C.

Anyway, night's late and I'll best be bed before 11pm. (Does the heavy-sounding explosive 'b' sounds be a foreshadow for something bad to come?)

Chatting with Tricia helps. I got a good feeling that tomorrow's a good day to die. Perhaps I'll get a B 'cos of the alliteration 'b'. (Was it alliteration? Yeah I think it was.) Who cares, as long as I can pass 2H2 and 1H1, I'll be home-free baby and then I'll carry on the wayward. :)

Level 14 Rookie Student heads out to rout GP paper.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [7:59 PM]*

There is relativity and there is always Murphy's Law: When shit happens, it happens. Or something like that.

I agree though, it's quite a common sense if you think about it. So, when my fandom beckons me, I caved into temptation had no choice but to indulge myself once in a while.

Y'know, I've thought about it, my top 3 Seiyuus. There has been some slight changes, but I guess this is official.

In first position, is Megumi Hayashibara.
Reason: Voices Lina Inverse from Slayer, Lime from Saber Marionette, Ranma from Ranma 1/2 and most important of all; Anna Kyoyama from Shaman King. (Oh, if you count Pokemon in, there's Jessie of Team Rocket too.) Anyway, she sings awesomely as well. And definitely not the lipsyncing J-pop vocalist too. Her live performances are uberly cute. And Anna is just a lovable character, no? Good looks, good voice, cute personality, what's not to like?

Two are tied for second position. It's a hard choice, damn it, deciding between these 3. Rie Kugimiya and Aya Hirano. Rie, first of all, is also another cute Seiyuu. I've come to love Shana and her 'baka baka baka' and 'urusai urusai urusai'. And she can sing too. I guess most Seiyuus sing. Very well at that, too.

Aya. She's one of the prettiest Seiyuu. Word. Lol, but seriously, the only down factor is tha she lipsyncs sometimes but that's because she's doing the hare hare yukai while singing, thus making it difficulty to control her voice. Otherwise, awesome stuff.

What do the three have in common? Tsundere. Tsundere. And more tsundere. I apologise but I'm hooked onto tsundere characters. Sue me. >:)

Also dug up J-pop songs from Gendou. The whole lot, damnit! I'm really tempted to download Card Captor Sakura songs (Wink Jonnie) but hey, at least I've got Slam Dunk's classics. And Bamboo Blade (which is a seriously good anime/manga that is underrated. Singaporeans should stop their geeky obsession with Naruto and Bleach. You want guys with spikey hair and outrageous sword sizes, go find Cloud. At least he stays emo and is cute.) and Mahoraba.

Not to mention my recent surfing enabled me to find many a good mangas to read over the holidays. And I really dislike Korean names. Sorry, but they're seriously hard to remember (while memorising Chemistry concepts AND trying to concentrate). If you can get pass the (seemingly) similar Korean names, then go grab The Breaker. It's a really good manga about Martial Arts and stuff. (But yeah if you read it you'll know that all I'm interested in is the tsundere lolita 'princess'.)

Back to serious business - I've revved up my engine. (A bit late?) And am currently studying 5 hours a day. Relatively speaking, that's like an infinite improvement 'cos anything divided by zero is infinity, right? Yes, so I've made infinite improvements and if we let X equal to the grade that I will get, then X is directly proportional to improvements in studies. Hence, X equals to infinity. X is equal to the percentage chance I get to enter a University, thus it is also infinity.
(Sorry, Proof has driven me mad. Oh, that reminds me I have to study my Lit text AKA Bible tonight.)

Anyway, I've been down and out for a few months. (And for the past dilly-dally periods as well) Much thanks to this one Jonnie who's always there to game with me. And listening to me sing (horribly) through Skype. 'Twas the best. Hahaha.

Oh and 18 Oct is Mr Big's concert. I've got one last ticket (at a $10 discount) at $75! Any interested takers? Jonnie, Park, Vinh and I are going. It's a one in a lifetime event and if you're interested (you may not need to go with us) please do give me a PM.

I apologise for the rush but I've really got to learn those irritating KaKpKcKb which make me want to kbkp.

Jovi wants to kick serious English arse tomorrow and felt compelled to blog about it. Yes.
IT'S TIME TO KICK SOME SERIOUS PROMOS ARSE, LET'S DO IT!

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [1:29 PM]*

We must Prepare For War in this Valley Of The Damned Where Dragons Rule. The Disciples Of Babylon will have Revelations Above The Winter Moonlight and the Soldiers Of The Wasteland will find the Heart Of A Dragon Through The Fire and Flames as they Cry For Eternity.

Life hasn't been well at all, no? I wonder what happens to those who do not conform, those who are radicals. But actually, non-conformists may not be radicals, just that I so happen to take on a form of both, you see.

You can either call me a fish out of water or a fish flowing against the flow of the river. But the problem here isn't difficulties; sure I've got lots of them, but, that's beside the point. It's more of being a maverick, fighting a solitary battle.

'Against who' you may ask. Against those who conform.

What do I have against conformists? Not much actually. I just don't like uninteresting people/objects that are merely replicates of others which make the whole world a boring place. These easily replaceable objects are discarded at will and since everything in the Universe is relative, compliment of Sir. Albert Einstein's Theory of Relativity, points of view differ as well.

Mundane and useless beings may be a person of attraction to others, for mindless souls to clamor about, just like how a pot of honey attracts ants. Really, it gets really boring to be going through life. Yes, I say life and not just education. There's just nothing to spice the day up. Talk about Dullsville.

Either that or it's just me. The me who cannot be satisfied no matter the case, no matter the amount of energy devoted. But really, what's there to devote of? So far, I can only see myself (attempting) to revise, and more productively, playing the guitar.

Why not I turnover the chessboard and take another perspective. Perhaps if I keep telling myself there isn't enough, then there certainly isn't enough. Should I condition myself to think that there is, in fact, enough. Actually, it's more than enough but the perfectionist's mentality will never work on it until it's at 'suitable levels'. It gets increasingly frustrating.

On a lighter note, I've already made holiday plans. Seriously. (: It's going to be one helluva fun holiday... at least that's what I'd like to think. Well, I've wasted two weekends mopy-dopy and there it is, the impetus, the 'dilly dally, shilly shally'. I'm going to start work now.

I do not want to be retained. I want to keep that objective in mind and remain focused.
I do not want to be retained. I will not be retained. I cannot be retained.

Yes, delusional, but I don't care what method as long as it works.

Anyway, I'll leave you guys with a beautiful poem by Lord Alfred Tennyson.







||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [9:04 PM]*

Y'know, I'm going to keep this short 'cos I need to start rushing through my revisions and PW...

Hold on Imma let you finish but Steven had the best blog of all time!

Okay, so that thing has been spreading as virulent as the bush fires Down Under. This short blog post will be about blogs other than mine which have influenced me - consciously or subconsciously - on the way I've written.

First of all, those that really made me want to write quality stuff and inspired me to keep this blog is Tricia's and Daniel's. One thing I learnt from Daniel's blog (Sorry 'bout this dude.) is that most people, including myself, do not have that strong a command of the language to understand a whole wall of jargon and bombastic words. Add to the fact that Daniel's insanely good at writing a long, alien texts which the typical Singapore wouldn't understand. But he writes good stuffs and from there, is definitely much to learn. Except you have to painstakingly read through his exceptionally supercalifragilisticexpialidocious English.

Tricia's one is definitely the more 'norm' of the two. :p I'm not sure if she does this consciously, but her posts are definitely broad and interesting. It could range from her fandom to work and sometimes even religion. It's good to see someone with a good faith, be it Christianity or religion. Definitely, it's hard to keep oneself in good faith in modern times; too much distractions. Oh, and I also like how she tries sooo hard to keep off her distractions and maintain her studious behavior, but sometimes, in the end, she succumbs. But that's just once or twice. Interesting and one of the more inspirational blogs.

Then you have Jonnie's Gorified Existence. No, it's not some blog-ad for some death metal band. It's actually all pink and cute and everything nice when you enter. So basically, he writes stuffs and thoughts he had. And it's really quite good too. Well, it was typically an IMPROVEMENT considering that his blog now had better depth. That and you don't have to avoid the Gothic blog skin anymore.

There are two blogs which I don't frequent as much as last time, and these are Leongy's and Shi Min's blogs. Shi Min's blog is a must-read. That is, if you're comfortable with her superb command of the Chinese language. Basically, she writes lovely, fuzzy Chinese fiction which is usually - you guessed it - about romance. But then, it's actually a good read, almost like a Chinese version of a shoujo-text. Hahaha, and there is Rachel (Leongy)'s blog. I couldn't reach her blog ever since she moved it to who knows what. Y'know, the character of Rachel and her fandom (Yes, fandom. Her love for bishies, animals [dogs, especially] and hot guys) just sort of unleashed her fury on her blog. That's something you wouldn't expect from a girl who doesn't talk with guys. Ah, good ol' times of Rachel hunting after Jeric and Jasmeet. She just has a thing for the 'J's. Oh and Jovi, too.

Some of the TPJCian blogs I've visited so far are Angelyn's, Ernest's, Wan Zhen's and Zi Ying's. What I liked about their blogs are the way they write their posts. Although blog posts are sometimes infrequent, the quality of their posts are there. I guess sincerity in posts is one thing, while frequency is another. Not to mention that some posts are really hilarious. Yes, that's you, Ernest. Oh, and they're all my ensemble mates. My class is mostly full of people full of fail. Yah, decipher that out please.

Kinda reminds me that I have to revise for my Physics, Maths and Chemistry, this frequency thing. Yeah. But let's wait for the killer.

And not to forget, those blogs which are meant to be spammed Fourc08.blogspot.com. There. It's for you to spam. But really good stuff for gatherings and all, y'know.

[sarcasm]However, the best blog award goes to...*Cue drum roll* STEVEN KOH KAI WEI. It's one of the best, EVER. Add to the fact that it's been spammed and flamed so much, it's so freakin' hilarious there is NO reason not to visit it every 0.5 seconds of your life. And maybe 'cos he banned me from entering his blog. Which I eventually managed to overcome. (: Oh, and I'll mention that his blog is dead for the past 28 years. BUT. You can still go to his blog for one of the world's most awesome blog music. And marvel at his WoW awesomeness. Basically, that's all.[/sarcasm]

Hullaballooooo~. I'm off to do my Written Report 'cos I'm the oh-so-important self-proclaimed genius of my group. If I have to steal one of the aforementioned blogs one-liners, it has to be this: Damn, if I were to mark my Written Report, I would GIVE myself a string of EEs.

Oh, and Confucius says, 'Crowded elevator smells different to midget.'

[Current music| Heaven Tonight - Yngwie Malmsteen]
Jovi purified a demon at 9:00pm and am out. 待续… 言文雪。子飞。

PS. Hm, the time of the blog is screwed. And this Kanye West thing could probably end up being meme 2009.
PPS. Actually, to be less critical, my class isn't that much of a fail. It's just a handful of retards that make up the poor demographic of the class. These failures (OH, SHAKESPEARE, CAN YOU SENSE THE INFINITE AMOUNT OF IRONY IN THIS?!) ought to be removed.


||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [8:17 PM]*

They say 2012 is Armageddon. Well, to tell you the truth, I've been through Hell since 2008, but heck, in less than a year, I've being tormented by the academic demon once again. I lack the motivation and competitive spirit to study. I'll most probably end up retaining and if I manage to scrap through the promos, I'd probably just be helping people lowering the bell curve.

When I thought all my distractions disappear, the inner-demon went to restring the guitar and buy a new PC. So much for gaining motivation.

Anyway, I didn't only bring these demoralizing tidings. In fact, I'm trying to write fiction... Actually, those sort of 古装 fiction, with your cheesy, frivolous swordsmen and kung-fu ladies. Yeah, I just thought up of an uber-cheesy plot right before I went to bed and I guess it sort of fitted itself into the 古装 genre. (Ideas always come before you sleep. Get a pen and paper around your bed.)

There ought to be something of higher purpose in life. I don't think we exist just to study and seek academic/monetary gratifications. If only we're more 'open' as a society to embrace the sports and the arts with open arms. But as all 'democratic' nations, Singapore's is definitely not a truly democratic one. I guess it somehow worked for us and I hope we progress towards a more open society. And then studying won't be the only aspect of our lives. (No, I don't mean that studying is not important, but how much of it do you actually apply in your future endeavors?)

Currently playing the bass for Heaven Can Wait - Iron Maiden. It's a really cool song for the bass and is simple to play. Definitely one of the best songs from the Maiden. (:

After watching the dramatic build up of United against City, I'm really on the edge of my sit when it was 2-3 and Bellamy scored a late goal during the 90th minute. I facepalmed as I sat there, agonizingly staring at how horrendous mistakes could lead my team to disaster. It was 1-0, 1-1, 2-1, 2-2, 3-2, 3-3 right up 'til injury time. Then magic happened as Owen found a pass and slotted in a perfect finish for a dramatic game. I think I screamed 'goal' so loudly that the neighbors can hear me. x)

I guess I started to really get into football when I'm in JC. It's cool to see good football coming from the fantastic English teams. It's a good mix of flair and substance, and really, Arsenal isn't all that bad. (:

---

Guilty strikes me once again; the deliberate attempt at procrastinating stopped me dead in my tracks. Should I use the word 'wasted' when I'm describing the way I spent my past three days? I think so, when you see the whole world out there working their arses off. I don't like to compare, but people are finding Bs and Cs unsatisfactory while here I am with my straight Us. (No, that doesn't mean I can get to a University straight away.)

Perhaps it's high time I forced myself to study. Get off the PC, get off the guitars, isolate myself, be a hermit and start to study. Maybe I'll drag the Korean to help me with revisions - after all he's the MJC #1 Chemistry God. I'm sure Physics and Maths won't kill him either, if only he could find the time to teach me. Hmm... maybe I'll go bug him some day.

Then maybe things can start moving. I don't like it down in the doldrums. I never move. The free-spirited me must be constantly evolving, constantly moving, otherwise I'll just be bored to death. Like how a bee craves honey, I crave adventure too. Which is really lacking in Singapore. But hey, talking about adventure makes me relate to Tom. Maybe I'll fly to the moon! (Too bad I don't have a little sister called Laura. Or a mother called Amanda. Otherwise it'll be a real thriller.)

Anywho, I'll be heading out to do my Written Report and my Literature assignments. At least I'm making some progress trying to do my homework. Better late then never. See y'all!

PS. My apologies for the lengthy post.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [4:23 PM]*

Man is not defeated until he gives up.

Yes, I was beaten down but I got back up! Bought a new PC too, just in case you'd like to know, for $1000, I got...
-2.2 GHz DuoCore
-GeForce 6800 GT
-4 GB RAM
-650 PSU
-500 HDD

Okay, with the PC back, it's time for distractions, distractions and more distractions.
(I would like to keep this post short.)

Anyway, the promos are coming and I can't say I'm really confident of passing. That is, I have a queer feeling that I'll get retained. I must start forcing myself to study; that being the case, coercion always fails. *Huge heart-wrenching sigh*

I'm really depressed nowadays. I don't know, things seem to have no purpose, no motivation. It's like I'm on this train which goes on and on endlessly in a tunnel where the darkness shrouds the environment. And alone, there is not a single soul on board.

Shaman King and Samurai X - Y'know, they really give me much love. Like a small kid pacified by candies, I went to listen to OP/ED of both animes and what really pulled my heart-strings is Shaman King's Trust You. I tell you, Shaman King is the best anime/manga ever made and AnnaxYoh is one of the best pairing there ever is. Tell you the truth, I probably got into this whole tsundere thing by Anna. The characters are very well developed and the plot twists just throw you off the track. (Oh why am I suddening releasing all my pent-up fandom?)

So, I almost cried while listening to Shaman King stuffs - especially Trust You. Guess what, Haruka Urashima is the Seiyuu of Anna, Haruka Urashima (Love Hina), Female Ranma and sang Brave Heart, Northern Lights, Oversoul, Trust You, Okomage. That's like all of the Shaman King theme songs.

Became really... sentimental nowadays. Perhaps it's something which grows with age - the inability to sit back and listen to the tip-tap of raindrops on a cool evening, with the spider's web tense for the dew's refreshing touch. How I wish I could also look at the Moon - the artist who stares back so amazed at his work too - and just cry out, "Moon! Moon!".

I guess I'm really depressed. Or rather, melancholic. The lack of leisure time has really put me on the edge and being on the edge is really... lousy. Let me be in touch with nature again. Let me be in touch with thy sacred beauty again. I'm so lost now, would anyone reach out a helping hand? But of course, as with masks and facade, I have plentiful a many of them. Only through writing do I scatter my persona and let its fragrance run free.

I've thought about it, actually. This is, of course, using the all-power hypothetical IF. (That is to say I don't want to be in those conditions.) If I were ever to turn blind, I'd focus on being a musician/novelist. If I were ever to turn blind and deaf, I'd put my whole soul into being a novelist. I guess you could say these are 'plans' for the future.

I've dawdled, I apologise for the lengthy post. (Even though I promised to keep it short.) But yeah, every now and then, even the mightiest of man needs reprieve, doesn't he?

I wish my soul would be redeemed. Please. (Oh, screw the academic studies, I'm already planning for the holidays and clearing Shaman King manga is one of them. *Cues over 9000 manga chapters.*)


||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [10:53 PM]*

Bravado, dear readers. Jovi has finally found in him, an inspiration to write. One wonders if its coincidence; a talk or two with Fish always seem to inspire me more than a drink or two. Not to mention, I've come to terms that masochist = emo. *Psst, the "pon notion, give call" notion still holds, ok?*

Why does that equation hold true? 'Cos of the simple fact that everyone, metalhead or emo, requires some sort of attention in life. That is to say, simple affirmation such as a thank you, will suffice to make a person's day. Of course, sincerity counts and such affirmation may not be tainted by superficiality. Otherwise, the whole point of it is lost, isn't it? Obviously, in our hectic lives, we hardly stop down to think and be grateful. Perhaps, that's the part of the human spirit that has been lost in translation through the language of Globalisation; the ability to enjoy, to be thankful and to appreciate.

Through affirmation, human beings evolve in such a subtle manner, spiritually and mentally, to greater heights. I've had a couple of restless months, dilly dally, shilly shally, and not doing much constructive work. There are ebb and flow in life and the road is not always straight. Heck, if you enter the grasses, there is even a chance that a Wild Pokemon appears! Jokes aside, I'm glad that I've finally bypassed my 'restless' phase and finally settled down. Maybe it's a body clock mechanism sort of thing; as time approaches finality, my mind gets more focused and set. To do what I have set out to do. The finish line is in sight and all arms are on deck!

But of course, Luna has shone her radiant light upon my face again, and waking me up with a revelation that's so simple, yet so abstract and elusive. A paradox it may be for those who do not understand, but once you capture its pure beauty, it'll be a sight to behold.

I've reached an epiphany that it is not the beginning or the ending that matters; rather it is the transition that is what makes the whole process delicately marvelous. It'll be rather boring if it's the start and the end that counts. And won't it be weird if Spring jumps to Winter if there wasn't the transitory Summer and Autumn? If that has been the case, why not question yourself: What is the meaning in life? What am I here for? What do I live for? Of course, these questions carry religious connotations but as usual, my ideas are open for interpretations and I'll be glad if you can find inspirations within an inspiration.

Went back to Tanjong Katong Secondary on Monday and saw good ol' Mrs. Chee. As usual, the slap you left, right, centre thing again and all the talk for me to seek professional Korean help in my studies. It's nice to see her again, although I've missed some of the teachers. Only able to see Mrs. Chee and Mrs. Khairul. I'll give y'all the easiest tip for the teachers to remember you: Be intelligently mischievous. Also known as notoriety. Jokes aside, TK hasn't really changed a lot y'know. I still love the 5 minutes walk from: A whole chain of delicious food stores, LAN and Pool, Parkway Parade and most importantly, my house.

Speaking of processes, I'd say forming Six Harmonix was a wondruous process - it's almost like magic. We formed a band together, we jammed and we had fun. I guess that's the whole point of music! Different styles and different characters coming to speak in a common language and engage themselves in musicality - that's also a joy in life.

Just to briefly introduce the Six Harmonix...
We have Crystal on keyboard, Shannen on the drums, Zi Ying as the vocalist, Jia Rong playing bass and Willis and I are the guitarists. All of 'em, except for me, had education in classical instrument - something which I deeply regretted not having learnt in my earlier and less hectic days. Yes, they're all very talented individuals. Crystal has a diploma in Piano, Zi Ying is taking her Grade 6 (?) exams, Shannen is currently in Grade 8 Piano, Kung Fu Panda Willis is Grade 8 in Piano and Grade 6 in the classical guitar while Jia Rong is ... a sombooooooooooodee.

Yes! And I'm not doing that badly myself either, although in actuality it's just a Grade 0, hah!

Anyways, I've taken a small nap and yes, the flow of thoughts to which I had earlier was broken. Hence, this shall be the end of my post. Although it's pretty short, I'm glad that I wrote this instead of studying for my promotion exams, 'cos it's been a long, long while since I had the writer's ink with me. (:

It is a good night today, and may clouds rain creativity from the azure blue skies!























PS. Mystical areas like this can actually be found on Earth. Chanced on this while searching for Autumn, the mist adds a tinge of mysterious into the picture, doesn't it? To tell y'all the truth, I sometimes get my inspiration from nature. (Actually, that's most of the time.) Just search for "winter" or "waterfalls" or "spring" and be amazed.



























PSS. Shannen makes really good Plue impressions. :3

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [8:11 PM]*

Try I might, the thoughts hardly come back when I'm fully awake. Yes, ideas flow the best when the mind is in a semi-conscious state. But then, me being me, I don't bother to get out of bed to jot down these creative thoughts and hence the lack of ink in me.

I apologise for the blog's current state, it's really dead for I have no... inspiration to write. It feels as if I'm pruned and dried up, perhaps like an old raisin eh. My academic work is spiralling out of control, I'm in desperate need for someone to wake me up. Yeah, I realised I'm too dependent on others; back in Primary school, I had my mother to constantly reprimand me to work harder. It serves as a motivation for me to study. Then on towards Secondary school, Mrs Chee is always there to hit me left, right, centre. Not to mention I have good friends who yell at me when I'm not doing work. A bit on the masochist side, but nevermind, it's still motivation for me to study.

I guess another way to motivation myself is to have intelligent conversations. Yes, it helps for some reason, to really get the thinking going. Non-intelligent conversations like DotA-Skype works too. Gets off the stress by just yelling and swearing into the microphone - sorry for those who are on the receiving end. :)

So yeah, try I might, there is nothing much I wanna write. A few things here and there, hiccups, some gatherings, Teacher's Day, guitar and stuff, not much difference than your usual normal routine.

Try.

PS. Much kudos to my brothers for accompanying me to play DotA. Been a year since I last touched DotA. (Seriously, Yonnie, don't bullshit with me.) Since when was the last time we shouted and screamed and had so much fun? Yes, we ought to have more of that... I don't even mind y'all feeding.

Thanks guys! :)

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [9:24 PM]*

Y'know, there is this one group of people I know; most are stuck up and have superiority complex, but they're the most miserable people I've ever knew.

The most miserable group of people that lives on earth are the perfectionists. Especially those with bipolar disorder, really. Perhaps, it's some sort of defense mechanism that exists to protect a fragile individual. Its only loophole - it doesn't defend against the person himself. Slowly but surely, losing fragments of memories and the void eating inside out; no sooner than later will an implosion occur.

Perfectionists, those who aim for the best and nothing but the best - or at least so they themselves think. They who appear to be stuck up, the very least, for what they think they're good at. They who set with all their thoughts into work but never materialising, for every detail has to be zoned into perfection, to be in the zenith of their work. A single, minute blob of ink - no matter how tiny - will not be tolerated on the perfect white sheet of paper.

What happens when regrets start to dot said paper? Morale is sapped away, motivation is drained. Hitting rock bottom, falling through the charts, reaching the depth of an absolute zero. A miserable lot of group, if you ask meself. They're the worst people to ever be with, be it with friends or in work.

It's also a difficult thing to cope with, this perfectionist contraption thing. It's not like they want it, I guess, but more so to defend. It's a spiked shield, albeit the spikes are protruding on both sides. Why not? Their pride allows them to hurt themselves rather than letting others complete the job. Imagine being in an iron maiden for an eternity, with the spikes never being able to prick any vital spots. The constant madness, of torture, bordering on sanity. A perfectionist may also be an idealist, whereby his torture is compounded. It's akin to completing a paradox, solving an infinitude of questions, to have perfectionist with ideals. Compounded is an understatement - it's more of a exponential madness growth, whereby as time increases, torture increases more and more so, to reacht that impossible infinity.

Who's to say honour and pride will never live in today's crazed society? The bloodlust of these men know no bounds - honour and pride are shed away to do the minutemost of sins. To sins of massive magnitudes. Still, the ideal perfectionist lives by these ways, true to himself, ideal to himself and never seeing more; nor less. Crestfallen, crashed into crossroads, it's definitely hard to defend oneself.

What better way to camouflage against this horrendous society than to douse oneself in flames and carressed thy scarred skin, smoothered by sacrilegous sinners. That brings new meaning to the phrase "if you can't beat them, join them". However, to retain that little honour, dignity and pride he has left, he doesn't do so. Instead, he keeps to his values and morals, no matter how perenially painstaking he has to crawl through the barbed mesh.

Probably, an perfectionist with ideal is probably cannon fodder - for everything. And also, probably the most misunderstood and miserable individual. I cannot stress further than this.

Why? Because I've come to know them. These group of "Others". A forced smile that doesn't seem forceful at all; he's at peace with nature, but not of the sins of mankind. The mentality, reverted to a child's, to protect against the cruel ways of life.

Bah, the mere thought of this... affair makes me depressed. What's more, I'm down with a crappy illness that makes my head spin like nobody's business. The flesh is enduring sub-zero cold yet the bone is melting under hell's fires. My brain is like a Pandora Box. Please, let Lady Luck smile on me. I don't wanna be lonely no more.

What more is there to say, when the lightning flashes across the sky and I'm still alone? With all communications cut, there is nothing to do but wait. But will Heaven wait for someone like me?

Saw a mother with her two children eating Magnum - the mother was just eating a plain ordinary ice cream. Food for thought.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [7:42 PM]*

It's been a long time since I last posted, life's travelling down the fast lane now and I ain't got time to stop and look around. The lush greenery, the beautiful scenery and the wonders of the first snow fall. Why can't we just stop and appreciate? They say ideas don't come easily: You have to search for them. Serendipitously or not, they will come. But only if one goes forward and tries. An inspirational scene or a chain of words, could ignite that spark that lies dormant in your mind and soul.

Let's say I'm afraid, very afraid. Just like how Catherine is upset and bitter - at the same time, fearful - of becoming just like Robert, I myself am having qualms about following in my father's footstep. The failure of a man, so evidently and first-hand experienced, and thus warning me that "you can never do well in music unless you're unique and one of the best in the industry". The sudden passion for music has driven me much more than before, which would mean that any non-academic passion growth will become detrimental for my academic studies and hence be in a relationship which equates them to be inversely proportional. The National Day Songfest, participated as Purple Heroes, and auditioning for Combo Band and a 3/10+ slots for the Teachers Day Celebrations, under Six Harmonix.

It's cool to be playing in a band with all the camaraderie and y'know, I really feel esctatic and can sense life following into my body. Remembered how I was being a prick during guitar practice. The immediate jam after that smoked away the depression. But is threading too far a wise decision?

For all that is, I've actually set my mind to be a game designer. One who studies game theory and psychology. Programming and concept drawing just comes as a package. That said, wouldn't focusing my energies on another area of work mean that I'll be threading on thin ice? Of course, to tell you frankly, I'm no genius who can manage academics, music and work at all the same time. Priority.

Isn't that what Fish always told me? The moment I saw Inuyasha on Okto, I was reminded of you. Don't know why, it just seemed like an otaku-connexion sort of thing, heh. Okay, for all the animes that I've missed, and getting this sort of bullshit non-existent grades, I shall be motivated to work harder.

I just need to ignite off another motivation-signal to my brain. But I'll admit that it is hard to find in daily hectic life. To actually find one of the same spiritual wavelength which meets, to be one with the soul. To find it in music is something overdone a billion times but there is always a hidden secret waiting to be found. To find it in friendship is awesome. But don't you get hurt every now and then? Over-sensitivity and misunderstandings. The wound that is healed is one step closer to achieving that elusive 110% Life Achievement.

-Back from jamming-

Okay, came back from jamming with Henry and guess what, we had an ingenius and innovative idea; jam at the library. Yeah, so we brought our guitars to the kiddo section and played softly... even softer than the kids making noise. Something funny that happened was that a librarian actually came over and said, "Guys, you can't play the guitar here at the library. Please play 'em outside". Captain Obvious much but I guess it's something that doesn't occur all that time there. Glad that we did something stupid once in a while again. (:

Anyway, I'm cutting the post short. I slept for a bit after I got home from jamming and still have seventy eight billion homework to complete. The ideas for writing totally went off after my sleep so I guess I'll pump some dark chocolates and coke into my blood and continue work. Yes, I shall work hard now.

Hopefully, a while later, the writer's ink comes back to me. Let it course through my veins and creativity should flourish.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [11:55 AM]*

The impenetrable defense of a swordsman - zenith of his art - boasts of a all-rounded defense and simultaneously posing a dangerous threat of a vicious counterstrike. En garde, for the blade who he lives by is skillfully crafted; slicing air, cutting armor - and still cut a tomato. The silhouette of the elegant blade may be the last thing you'll see.

If we had but enough time, then my mistress, this coyness will be no sin.

Lots of stuff happened, been there, done that, National Day celebration, having fun and all. Yes, I've had my fair share of fun life. Now that I'm back down to earth - hopefully - means I'll be spending more time revising. Y'know, seeing Electrico play "What Do You See" and Purple Heroes actually playing the song before Electrico just means so much to me. A sudden sense of accomplishment ran through the course of this useless body of mine.

Had virus on my hands: warts. Yeah, I could've just followed Heather's method of bringing sanitary swipes around. And yes, I'm buying 'em now to clean my entire house. That and it's almost time to get a new PC. A fully customized one on my own with less than a budget of $1000 and can run you-know-what games on full settings. The economy's bad. I don't think I'll ever get a private tutor; it costs $60 per lesson.

Anyway, having friends is a really good plus in life. Having 'em awesometastic friends kept my sanity in check. I hardly go off tangent anymore. Trying to mellow down I guess.

Nothing constructive so say thus far, really. 'Cept that I'm relieved guitar ensemble is going well.

Am slightly motivated to study and learn musicality. (Yes, no such word, I know.)

That's all for now. Like a somboooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
-dee. Will log off now.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [10:24 PM]*

I only hope that the night lasts longer, for me to dream of being who I want to be.

I can only wish for the stars to shine brighter, shimmering radiance of dreams, to illuminate my presence on the stage; rocking out a crowd of millions and millions of fans.

I can only dream of holding you close to me, because I care, though the moon's beauty be shadowed by the ghastly dark clouds. Remember them not, for the skies cannot rain all the time and I'll always be there, just for you.

I can only philosophically muse about the uncertain future, for like a boat with furled sail, I lay stagnant in the harbour. Picturing not my destinating, but where I stay at rest; I have not moved. Like a timid coward, hiding from the adversities, shrinking away from risks. Opportunities they have been presented to me, but I back off; the fear is too big. I didn't want to risk myself. O when will the bud blossom into blue Belladonnas, yet never the time for fears to be scattered like the leaves of a tainted plant come.

Just take the Brussels/Germany European Nations trip. I backed out immediately, cooking up some irrelevant excuse, trying to fool no one but myself, to kill off the guilt, to make up for my cowardice. Of course, I don't entirely like the whole "International PW" project issue, dealing with issues that I don't really like at all. Which 17 year old teen in the right mind cares about child trafficking, water security and migration problems? Of course, no one likes to study either. It's a matter of those who wish to push themselves to like and those who stay in their comfort zone and regret; the boat with furled sail doesn't progress, resulting in endless torture and disappointment. Me, even after been given advice by dear mother (This hardly happens okay, the moment I turn to my mother is when I'm really desperate.), didn't do anything 'bout it. Bursting out in Chinese, "I just don't like it!" even after all the good advice; aren't I the greatest coward ever? Deep inside, crawling under this skin, a parasite living in this flesh, I hate myself very much for being, well, myself.

But as humans go, no one is ever perfect. For all the cowardice in me, that's, perhaps, the lesser of two, no, three evils. Take procrastinating for example. Something I came to love and hate. That and so many vices I try to quit: Making up stupid excuses, being untalented, being generally lazy and empty words. Yes, empty words. All talk and no action. "I'll start to study" By the great mercy of the Pikachu, I've heard that since, what, aeons ago ever since the term 'examinations' came into my innocent life. Oh, that and me being a perfectionist don't really help. But no, it's not a reason to blame my perfectionist behaviour.

Don't doubt my words, I am one. I fuss over the most trivial of matters and I tend to the most micro of subjects. (A.N.: There is, in no way, any relations to academic work. If I do, please pardon me, as I have either sub-consciously been manipulated by my own bipolar self to add in a tone as such I'm not comfortable with. Also, pardon for any discrepancies because as you know, there's not much sanity left for me to debate about myself.) I even get riled over the tiniest of seconds lost in "efficiency" of work. But what about the long periods of time lost in blogging, Facebooking, playing games? Please stop making up Reasons for yourself, Jovi. I never cared about them. Talk about work: I always have all the ideas for PW but these ideas never materialize for the simple fact of "troublesome". I'll smack you left, right, centre. These carry on forever and the spiral staircase of madness continues in an infinity of infinite labyrinths.

I can only hope, in the hope of wishing against reality, for sanctuary. Never possible. The poison has seeped too deep. Just look at the bunch of idiots I'm surrounded by. Not in its entirety, but there is definitely room for irrate behaviour and explicit stupidity. Definitely, life has become a whole new beacon of shine for myself. The explorer who has discovered love in friendship and friendship in love understands that an indefinite defination of such can trascend boundaries and if not, sieve through the acts of deceit and lies to maybe, explore a darkened cave for unexplained answers.

As such, for I take upon a didactic, yet at the same time, philosophical approach to life, I beseech you, my dear readers, to take upon the bull by its horn, and better still...
Stop. Dreaming. Start. Living.

As much as I'd love to have companions, I hereby pray for the sanity for those who have crossed the boundaries and see more than what these two earthly jaded eyes can see, hear more than what these wretched ears can hear and feel, most important of all, what mortals cannot feel.

The only reprieve for this perpetually tormented, conflict-torn soul is the company of good friends and the very little things he can do to steer his life back to its intended route... if there ever was one in the first place.

I can only dream of myself.

PS. All my wonderful buddies, seriously, I miss you guys plentiful lots.
Clement Tan Eew Noob. As much as you're a lousy hypocrite, an obnoxious liar, a big fat Taekwondo ex-champion and an Über DotA noob... I've come to love you for who you are. And I'm going to steal Little Fencer away from you bwahaha! Just kidding. But I really miss you. No I'm not gay, but yeah, being TPJC makes me think that you're an intelligent being. HAH.
Park Ji Sung. Little Korean who strings my guitar all the time, sometimes leading me to take him for granted. Heck, little recognition is given to you all the time, but yeah, you're an important dude. Keep kicking those losers' asses for me in MJC. Keep topping the level for me. :D
Henry. For being the cohesive glue of the Brotherhood. Dude, there is nothing more to say than your patience for my shit. By the way, I think you're the first person who can stand my kpkb-persona.
Yonnie. Ain't no need to elaborate, best DotA buddy ever. Kbkp still want to play with me. Lol.
Yue Yang too. Hope all goes well with your life man. Settle down with your girlfriend already, okay?
Shaun. Even though you're gay, you're still a very good guo tiao.
If I miss out any one, don't blame me, lazy to think anymore.

OH I REMEMBERED. KOH KAI WEI LOL. I miss all the retarded things you do which never fail to make me laugh. Banging your head against the wall, tripping over invisible stuff, radiating your KW ions. I miss those times.

Why am I suddenly reminiscing about past times? Because those ain't no past times. It's the present. What is the present? Now. Time? This moment. Who? Myself and the world. Rev up and ready to go.

CARPE DIEM. For real this time.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [8:00 PM]*

Let's hope S26 And A Jovi goes through the auditions. Then that'll be my first time playing in a band and playing live on stage. Of course, being the average guitarist I am, I'll be playing some pop song that lasts for, say, 2.5 minutes? I really didn't mind, since it was an opportunity. If life gives you opportunities, you grab 'em. Then with its distant employ, you scatter the leaves and then the bud flowers. Yes, "Another Life" and "Petals". I don't want to be a loser anymore, it's time to carpe diem. I've lost too much precious time - my youth, now I'm a young adult already and I've achieved nothing much at all.

That said, if we indeed pass through both auditions, then I'll most probably be using Park's guitar. I doubt I want to use mine since acoustic strings have insanely high tension. But then, the disadvantage is that I'll have to get used to shredding with his guitar, otherwise it beats the purpose since I can sweep on my guitar now. (Yes, slowly, even with the high tension strings. Reminds me of Steve Morse's High Tension Wires.) I love Steve Morse!

Not to mention that failure cannot be excused nor tolerated. Life is fraught with dangers and obstacles and you can only have that One chance to pass or fail. Perhaps the usage of 'fail' may invoke to some of you that this issue revolves around my academic endeavors but no, read it with an open-mind and then you should be able to see the big picture. There is no aggro reset save/load system in the real world. You only have to... do your best in everything you do; don't live to regret.

Korean rushes for a post. That spoilt my momentum, well, yeah, so here goes. I guess that's good though, otherwise I could go on forever...

CARPE DIEM.

PS. Oh well, managed to finally do my shopping at Parkway and Bras Basah. Rankings sell stuff really cheap there, Super Slinky Ernie Ball for $6 per packet. Just realise how much I've been ripped off by some other 'retail' stores. Anyway, how cool is it that an auntie in her 50s is working as a cashier in a guitar store? She can even speak fluent Malay! The only down point is that I take around an hour and 15 minutes to get there and back. Now, I think I will break my promise today. Procrastinating a little lesser, but am doing my work at least. Piled up homework siphons too much time away. Anyway, life ain't all about academic work.

Thinking about mainstream stuff, I think that if I were to cover bands, I'd pick Bon Jovi and The Click Five. The latter is one that I just picked up today. Not really heavy, but I guess it sounds a lot better than the other mainstream stuff about there. So, best of luck to us getting into NDCelebrations! Anyway, can't find any good Guitar Pro tabs for The Click Five. That's pretty sad. ): Anywho, The Click Five is probably one of the better mainstream stuff that I like. They just need to change the lyrics a little, spice up with heavier riffs and solos and use heavier vocals to achieve a rockier image. Otherwise, I guess the softness is pretty good for some occasions. :D

I've gotta stop procrastinating.

CARPE DIEM.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [8:08 PM]*

A seemingly infinite events have occurred since I've last logged on this page. Staying true to the style I've had adopted since the birth of this compendium of thoughts, mere description of days and months passed will not be tolerated. Thus, I will streamline these thoughts and write more to make up with lost time. That said, this will be a fairly wordy post - as like other posts - and like how our beloved Deckard Cain speaks: Stay a while and listen.

Speaking of which makes my MMORPG blood boil. It's been a long while since I'm expecting any good MMOs and Diablo III is certainly the peak of my long-awaited list. That said, with the release of this powerhouse, I'll obviously be buying an entire new rig; having a budget of <$1000 is no mean feat while self-customizing a rig. With a juggernaut at hand, I'll probably be spending more time on the PC than on my studies and as much as STAR is concerned, I'm down for three.

Yes, three. (They couldn't slot a fourth one for me 'cos there's only 3 slots available for every single student.)

Now, what does STAR actually stand for?

Stupid Time-wasting Assignments for Retards. Basically, the school thinks that making students stay back for 18 hours to copy work will make them smarter than those in RJC/TJC. Obviously, it's no panacea for the intellectually challenged. Neither does it help much for those who have no commitments. The insistence of implementing this for students who failed - all students who failed, mind you - is plain stupid. It's just a waste of time and all I'll get from these STAR lessons is fatigue and body aches. Not to mention a whole lot less time to study at home. (That is, if I really want to study.)

Anyway, I'm having some serious abdominal and spine pain now. It's amazing no matter I hunch or don't, both sides still hurt. To tell you the truth, my pain threshold is pretty low. And I don't like myself injured, although I do have those quite a few times. Must be those damned forced pull-ups. Miraculously done 3 while under the influence. What say you to that?

Oh and I fell asleep before completing this post. As usual, that cuts short the post-length and I hope that's good news for y'all. But why am I waking up at 2am now? Because there are plenty of homework that needs to be done. Damn this tiring life. Seriously, I need reprieve from shittiness.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [6:25 PM]*

A neighbourhood college. There's a reason why it's called a neighbourhood college.

Teachers are generally lazy and are not motivated at all to teach; if they resign that they're in a neighbourhood school and don't care for their students, why must students give their best shot? Furthermore, students cannot give their best shot precisely due to the ineffectiveness of the teachers.

The late-coming rule is a retarded, inefficient, horse-shit implemented by a fascist disciplinary committee. That said, it is ape-shit crazy for anyone to actually comply with these totalitarian rules. You're late for 3 times, be it they purposely shut the gate early, or through some thunderstorm - whatever the reason - they'll just minus 50dkp from you and send you to suspension AND press 'del' on one whole term of your SGC. Mind you, speaking from experience while trying to challenge the system, I purposely came in late the third time on the last day of the term just to test this out. Yes, I'm late for the second time again and someone decided to call up on my mother. 'Sif it'll make any difference in me not coming late. And the irony of TPJC wanting its students to do well; they encourage the buying of MCs to skip school. Why? Because students, being Singaporeans, can easily use $5 - the approximate price of 1 and a quarter of a Magnum ice cream - to buy their way out of suspension.

Bribery much? It's definitely food for thought. Of course, the students are not to blame. Down with the system, down with the neo-Nazis. I should run for some political party.

TPJC will remain as a 'cushion' for other schools as always. Have fun with their Hitler-regime and suffocate students with an air of authority which kills ingenuity. So much for believing in my ability to succeed. Well, all potential is killed here. Unless you talk about the people who want to go MJC but failed to do so and came as MJC-rejects. That or there are losers who get straight As - Two - or those who fail in their Engrish.

Oh and remember Nadiah who went to Australia? Yeah, how cool is it that she suddenly came and chat with me online. So she's currently in Adelaideyodelehiho, Australia. (I have no idea where that is.) Talk about the advantages she has. Get to experience four seasons, get to be ultra-slack in studies, get to have non-routine shit Singapore has, get to experience four seasons, get to have an angmoh boyfriend and etc. I'm sure she's having a ball of a time there. And there's even a mention of Juzantri! Long lost childhood friend, she said. Perhaps there's more than meets the eye. :)

Okay, I guess it's time to do EoM. Oh boy, I've found some really cool treasure at that too. I don't think it's wise to divulge my secrets. See you all, I hope you have fun reading this totally stupid and nonsensical post about my favouritebullshit College.

PS. Talking about time zones with Nadiah gave me a thought. Take X to be the velocity of a human body. As X approaches to infinity, say, the speed to light, then won't time be distorted for the human body? Assume perfect conditions for body to move when X tends towards infinity, i.e. travelling in a frictionless medium so the body won't be incinerate to nothingness, abundance of oxygen, etc. etc. If that is achieved, won't we be able to time-warp ourselves? That said, hello everyone, I'm awesome, check me out. Ergo, rewatch Yngwie Malmsteen and John Petrucci and Michael Angelo Batio parodies. Perhaps, Petrucci really can travel at the speed of X tends towards infinity.

PSS. I did the most awesome thing ever. I went to Google and searched for Google. No, I am not a paste-eater. Now don't deny! I know you guys must've done this before sometime in your life. :D


||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [7:39 PM]*

Liquor. The Muslims abstain from it. The Christians don't do it. The Buddhists advocate it's evil.

Well, I dig it.

With a bunch of good friends, drinking liquor can sometimes be a fantastic... Let's say, hobby. It's like how you munch on pizzas when watching football with a group of friends, or eating popcorns in a movie theatre. However, you always see those little emo diddly drinking liquor alone.

That, is against my rules. I don't drink when I'm feeling down. Rather, I drink when I'm with good company. That way, the drink naturally tastes thousand-fold better. That said, my tolerance for liquor seemed to be drastically decreasing for some reason. I guess I've taken on my mother's intolerance for liquor. Too bad I enjoy something while being intoxicated so heavily.

Intoxicated so heavily. The angelic look on your face when you sleep, just to rush my fingers through your hair and touch your lips to hold you near.

Eh, going off-topic. Must be the drowsiness. Anywho, I don't have much to talk about for this post. Realised I forgot everything that I wanted to write. Feeling rather ambivalent about stand-down of guitar practise. Seriously, just make school last for only an hour to 'minimise the propagation of H1N1 flu'. Yes, propagate is the correct word to use. Bunch of Nazis trying to screw with my guitar practise...

Oh well, I'm writing worse and worse. I'd better stop lest I write something stupid; a laughing stock I shall become.

Goodnights. Shall do EoM in my semi-tipsy state. At least I don't shout and curse at my enemies when I'm tipsy. :D


||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [9:29 PM]*

You have no one else to blame but yourself. The rejection of others into your life as the result of an overly paranoid self-defense machanism. You dread any reject, thus to avoid inflicting hurt onto yourself, you envelope yourself in a self-immolating barrier which slowly siphons the air away from you, suffocating yourself in your own sins.

Your vision is fogged by the smoke which rose from your charred skin and you see nothing but evil. Your friends are put off, your enemies are drawn close. Naturally, you're perpetually sad. But you have no one to blame but yourself.

The fist of the heavens strike the sinful. Retribution is due and heavenly justice be struck into the hearts of every evil. I bear not myself to see you suffer, but for all your sufferings you've brought onto yourself, I cannot help. I can only pray that you see the light tonight.

By the Saints guide your soul to truth and enlightenment.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [9:29 PM]*

It's all about the process, not the destination.

Don't let it get you down, but pull yourself up and strive to do better.

Earn those tickets to freedom, fight for your future.

An obstacle overcame is a small, but definite victory.

Let not the short-term defeat blind your sight for it leads on to long-term goals.

Stop nothing short of your realistic goals, disappoint no one, not yourself.

IDEALS.




||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [10:32 PM]*

"Are we but mechanized beings, standing precariously on the tip of insanity? Merely stringed puppets, craftily yet skillfully manipulated by the Master Puppeteer, balancing on the edge of a razor blade. What purpose do we live for? What is of our importance in this world which is naught but a physical illusion. Money is not the root of all evil, fear is."

I never once fretted over my sanity. For as long as I lived within my self-confinement, outside the blighted touch of an ever-increasing scourge known to me as society, I'm contend with myself and my life. I fought with a brush, and never once did I have a visitor. I drew all day, sometimes drawings which invoke strong emotions, sometimes abstract ones which lulled me towards melancholy. But that's not to say that there is no interaction between me and civilisation. There's this little boy who runs up the dense mountain and crosses the treacherous Lynsiah weekly just to keep me company. I sometimes wonder if this company is what keeping my sanity close to my side; never once did I fall into relapse.

I continued to live on the supplies the kid sent me weekly. It saved me plentiful trouble, since it is most unwise for a person like myself to step into town. Of course, I count it my fortune - or rather, misfortune - to survive that cataclysmic genocide where thousands people from my own race were hunted and burnt by the blasphemous humans. I often mused why Pysta would want to be together with a social outcast like myself. He's a polite, albeit shy boy, and we'd often have fun together: immersing ourselves in nature, drawing works of art or sometimes just sitting down together and use our imagination. Although little words are exchanged, our bonds are strong. We are close friends. Or should I say, my only close friend.

There was this one fateful day. I waited and waited for Pysta; he used to be very early. That Saturday, he was late by a full hour. I waited and waited by the door. Lines formed over the canvas. Started to get thicker and more forceful. I waited for another hour. Could something have happened to him? I thought. Every week, without fail, Pysta would arrive early in the morning to bring me fresh supplies from town. Imminent danger loomed. I fear for the worst. Perspired profusely. I scribbled all over the canvas, making a huge mess out of my delicate artwork.

I couldn't sleep that night, but tossed and turned in bed. The demon within me is growing stronger, gaining possession of my thoughts and corrupting me beyond soul. I couldn't imagine losing another close kin; my only kin. I treated him like a son. It's all my fault if anything befalls Pysta. Rain fell hard that night, and I couldn't sleep.
It was a full moon that night. Pristine clear moonlight fell upon my face and a howl was heard. The pale blue light shone through the tainted glass, painting the floor a crimsom, misty red.



I was the embodiment of Confusion. Crossing the Lynsiah, I found Pysta. His head was impaled on a stake.

























I couldn't fathom what was happening. No, I couldn't bring myself to. The society is a stitched abomination of unscrupulous evil and sins. Nothing comes closer to the Devil. And to the point of insanity, one has reached, to be deep within the inner soul to let loose emotions from all directions and losing every last vestige of sanity. Broke free from that mental prison which closed my feral spirits for so long. O the bloodied claws and fangs which have mauled and slayed thousands of sinned humans for their evil-doings have deserved nothing but death. The last visage they will ever see is one of a wolf. A big, bad wolf.

All that system of rubbish, hidden troves of sins, deception and abuse. Humans never learn from their mistake and they never will. I do not have the magnanimity of a Saint to keep them alive. A chilling howl rang through the night. Blood splattered everywhere, bodies lay slain on streets of the small town. You call them guards? Mere farmers armed with pitchforks and hoes. Not a single human soul was left. I finished my final piece of art and painted the town a lovely red. However, the alarm was raised. Within minutes, torches can be seen from all directions. I laughed maniacally. A battle to death. The descpicable fools will not be enlightened. Only in due time will they know that they will bring their own downfall. As silver bullets pierce through my body, I felt one with the Spiritual World. I sprawled on the ground, in a pool of sticky red paint. Like the beautiful petals of a red rose. I saw him; Pysta smiled at me. I was relieved as I saw my body get stabbed and impaled on a stake, I rose to the skies with my honour and pride with me.

I'm finally free from this physical vessel. No more interactions with the evil that is the human society.





















PS. For my light-hearted and bouncy readers, perhaps I shall lighten the mood up a bit. First of all, I'm not emo, okay? Slightly reflective. Things that have been happening, inspiring, and sometimes saddening. I'm cool though, so yeah, don't fret or be sad. A fun picture for a happy ending! (I don't like gloomy endings myself either. Reminiscence about Final Fantasy and the super-duper-awesomely-powerful Black mage: Vivi Ornitier.)















Isn't he mighty awesome? Yeah, he's awesomely cute and shares the 'Vi' with me. Oh and that I wanna break Physics too.

I wanna be free from bipolar disorder... It sucks to feel extreme joy and extreme sadness in a split second.


||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [8:41 PM]*

Early this morning, my day got ruined. I was headbanging to Iron Maiden and guess what happened? They decided to play Jason Myass over the PA system - really loudly too. Sigh, this sort of shit shouldn't be happening. Play heavy metal songs over the PA system and stop being conformist bastards, refusing to allow rock and metal to live on is futile. Because in the next 50 years, people will forget Jason Myass. Yet, Iron Maiden will live on forever. Metal is Classical. You cannot change the fact.

I'd like to quote Alan though, Blues is the root of all music. There you go.

Anyway, I'd like to have a big, big laugh. Results thus far.
GP: C (Best in class, stupid muggers all can't mug for GP. I feel so freakin' proud about this.)
Chinese: B
Chemistry: S
Physics: S
Maths: U

Going to get Lit back on Monday. Yeah, I know these results aren't anything to brag of, since for someone my calibre, you'd expect As and Bs. Call it boasting or bragging, but I tell you, whoa, I never meant to brag. Because I'm just damn good. :)

Egoistic and narcissistic bastard who has nothing else to do but brag about the empty air around him and build smokecastles on the water. What a total moron.

Actually, my mood depends on who I'm with. What I do or say also depends on who I'm with. Go figure.

Mini-post gone long. Heck. I had manic bouts again last night. Remember how extremely high I was yesterday night? Talking about super moeness and stuff and being random. After lying down on the bed and thinking for a while, I got really depressed. Sad, this bipolar behaviour I think isn't going to go off very soon...

And about moeness. Moeness is awesome. Long hair also adds to the moeness power level. And Fish in her black, lolita dress. I saw that. (: I regretted not going. And partially because no one wants to go with me. What about Mr. Big concert? I'll be damned if I don't go. Random much, but yeah.

Lookin' forward to Friday. Screw tomorrow, until 6pm. I wonder how I'm going to survive.

PS. This sucks big time. Coming across as being insincere, hypocritical and totally bullshit. Don't know why, but is an honourable path that hard to stick to in modern times? I try my best not to break my code fo conduct. What about others? Survival of the slyest, don't they say. It's no longer a dog-eat-dog society. It's a human-eat-human society. One who abides by a set of conduct will inevitable 'lose out' to others. Yet, he gains something that no one else can get by sly moves or cunning strategies.

I'm pissed off. Should I take the lesser of the evils, or should I be myself. Wait, I'll always be myself. Perhaps, that is the lesser of evils. Then, it'll be a paradox! Whoopie, how interesting this proof is. Bah, it's hard to be an upright person.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [10:34 PM]*

In case of emergency...
Breakdance!

Okies, SPE is now officially awesome. No more physical training and conditioning. The new trainer is fantastic: he teaches us how to b-boy, also known as breakdancing. Dancing and martial arts actually have a lot in common, especially in timing and footwork. Well, I won't say I've learnt much, since it's only been the first full-length lessons we had. Bboying requests immense strength at the wrist, forearm and waist. Doing freezes bring the pain onto your wrist like hell. Seriously. So far, we've learnt the baby freeze, Indian step, cockscrew drop and 6-step. Now I know why YY took dancing. (:

6-step cannot be done in fast timing, but good enoug to keep up in tempo... not enough strength to support my body and waist. Furthermore, the footwork's not really good, but slow and steady I go! Lookin' forward to SPE lessons now. (:

Okayyy. Indeed, for every cloud, there has a silver lining. This time, it's in my GP. I'm not exactly proud of my score of 54.5/100, but the thing is it's one of the better grades in my class. Just imagine how crappy these muggers' Engrish are. English is a subject that's alive, ergo you cannot mug to get good grades for it. Therefore, it's extremely significant that for someone like myself - who didn't mug at all for mid-years - to get relatively better grades than the rest of the muggers. Here goes: sucker punch to those who think that examinations have to be mugged in order to do well.

As for Chinese oral, I will definitely 谢天谢地 if I can get my distinction. That'll be Wu Zhao Rong happy, wouldn't it? (: Well, the topic isn't really hard, but I've deviated from it and well, didn't really read certain words correctly. Oh well, it's over and over, it's done with. (Yeah, I know that didn't make much sense.)

Anyway, thanks to several of my awesometastic close buddies, I've managed to fire up the engine to get onto the right track. At least I've started to pay attention to lectures instead of sleeping, day-dreaming and thinking of weekends and guitar practises. Now, I'm ready to kick some Apple's ass and will start working hard! Once again, plentiful thanks to those who forced me back onto the right track; I needed the extra push. (:

Now. Let's move on to a subject that I've always wanted to address but didn't have the chance to.

I'm a freakin' elitist.

You all got that right and clear. And I know, that it's an irony. A big one at that too. In short, I don't like to mix with semi-gangsters, emo children, mentally retarded autistic childs and your general neighbourhood school losers. I'm prepared to be flamed for this, go ahead. However, that said, there are of course exceptions. Take Yonnie !xobile Yee for example. I love that Somali kid, even though he likes colouring. Ok. Better not continue.

And with a hopditty-do, I move along, chasing the leprechaun to find a pot of hidden gold, at the end of the rainbow.

Okay. Since you chased me to post, then don't mind me for the lack of quality. xD


||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [6:43 PM]*

It's been a long, long time since I last blogged, no? I apologise for the lack of updates, for I couldn't feel any power in this pen. Ink is running dry, there's so much to do, yet the perfectionist procrastinates. It's been a string of failures. Failure after failure. The potential - or lack thereof - not being appreciated by modern conformists; damned for their inability to be flexible. There is no chance for survival for the dreamy idealist.

Locked inside a steel cage with fellow humans, left to fight for one's own survival in a cruel free for all.

Is there all that is to life?

Even if the answer is no, there is nothing much one can do to fight against the system. What are we studying for? What are we living for? Ask yourselves. Not that I'm here to incite anti-studious feelings or whatsoever, but take a step back and think before you mindless do tutorials after tutorials. A whole long list of achievements and grades of As mean nothing to me. It just tells me that you're a person who has done your homework consistently and have done well for that certain period of time. Therefore, the idea of luck comes about during exams. If you're lucky, you're good to go. If you're not, then too bad. Regardless of this, people are studying and that's the way it should be. I'm always a regenade, a maverick. Perhaps, a little too laidback. I should get the gear moving.

U for Maths. 6/70
S for Physics. 43/70
S for Chemistry. 40/70
R for Literature. ?/70

C'mon, I ought to be getting 60/70 for all my H2s at least if I tried my best. I'm sure I can get those grades if I really tried. "If" is not a plausible clause for conditions are not met, hence triggering of events return to zero. Bah.

I don't even have the mood to write anything now. I just miss Fish's cosplaying in cosfest. Not that I have anyone to go with.

I need to go out before I start to study. Seriously.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [11:53 PM]*

I've successfully evaded 24 hours of 'wanting' to study by using Level 99 Procrastination.

Adrenaline rush? Nah.

Let's hope I can cram all the topics of Physics and English Literature within 2 hours. Not to mention I'd probably get distracted half-way...

Gave up mid-terms when I didn't study for maths anyway.

Good Game.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [7:02 PM]*

On one look, it sounds like something ripped off from a cartoon. Digimon or something, does it not? But upon closer observation, perhaps you'll notice that it's actually a word fusing ANGEl and dEMON together, which brings me to the topic of the day: Angels and Demons. (Lol, anti-climax much?)

SPOILERS AHEAD. But you guys should've watched the movie already...

Okay, just to cut short on film reviews and stuff, I think that it's good, but not reaching there yet. Langdon doesn't use enough of his brains to solve the clues, perhaps more thought could be put into that area. However, it's a bit more motionesque though, moving around from place to place, more of the thriller rather than the mystery this time. The thematic issue is awesome: Religion vs Science. And how Religion is not an enemy of Science and both must work in tandem... you get the idea. But what intrigues me is that like how ANGEMON came about, there is every Angel in the Demon and likewise, there is every Demon in the Angel. Take the overzealous Camerlengo Patrick. For everyone has their own beliefs, then they shall act towards them with passion and zeal, then will there not be any regrets. And that too, means that there is no distinctive right or wrong in the world, for every belief, they believe in themselves the righteousness and that what goes against that very belief that they so hold dear in their hearts is evil and wrong.

Isn't that what revolves around the world today, if one is to observe closely. Politics. Wars. The whole lot. It's just different people's opinions on different things. Yes, it can be influenced, but the matter lies in your hands.

Oh well, let's not dwell into such matters as it's highly controversial. (That and I think my thoughts are drifting off elsewhere already.)

That said, A&D lacks female casts. That and there are actually some actors that should be specially mentioned.

First is Inspector Ernesto Olivetti, played by Pierfrancesco Favino. He's an awesome cop, and he's got some slick moves, albeit still got killed by Mr. Gray. He should definitely not be killed. One thing is that he's not cowardly and is actually honorable. That and he looks like some Italiano Mafia dude. And that's freakin' cool.

Then we have Mr. Gray. Who SIO'd (Self-imposed ownage) himself for working with Camerlengo and then being doublecrossed by the Camerlengo. But his death was awesome at least; a fiery ball of explosion that burnt the night skies of Vatican City. But it was unjustified. Nikolaj Lie Kaas is too handsome to die.

Speaking of good looking people, we have the Camerlengo, himself. Played by Ewan McGregor, I think y'all should know why he shouldn't die. The only thing he should die is for being a little crazy idiot.

Then Thure Lindhardt reminds me of Draco Malfoy. Yeah, epic lols.

That said, the film is pretty bullshit sometimes. Camerlengo can survive a freakin' mini-nuclear blast on a parachute. C'mon, talk about divine intervention. That and Langdon actually solves stuff right on the dot and uber quickly.

Oh well, you can't have everything completely perfect. Time to be on the look-out on more mystery/thriller/action/gangster films. Four Brothers/Trick/Godfather, anyone?

PS. It reminds me of Angelyn and Dominic.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [7:18 PM]*

Can't believe I've overslept again. Kept falling asleep uncontrollably the moment I reach from these few days. Must be tired. Don't like maths at all for tomorrow, don't even know what topics are tested. Must say that it's the same for the other subjects. Miraculous how I even managed to do Chemistry paper today, albeit not too well. Totally skipped the questions regarding ionic equilibria, chemical energetics and chemical equilibrium. Well, at least there were some pathetic attempts written in a perfect Spanish sprawl over the paper. (:

Anyway, don't like maths. Still don't like maths. Never liked maths. It's all about practising and mugging for maths. Never liked practising nor mugging. Bleh. If I whine anymore, I may actually like maths. Really want to play Harvest Moon again. Luckily there's nothing on Thursday, but Friday is basically an examination marathon from 8am to 4pm. Luckily Bouncy set the date at 4.30pm. And there's at least something to look forward to, EXCO dinner and LAN party. Oh yeah, better send a message to Clarence.

I don't think I shall ever have the mood to mug for maths. Never liked the subject. Perhaps I'll just read through some stuff over tomorrow morning. And time to get that weird application from God knows where for my GC. Some PlySmlt thing or whatnot. Don't even know how to use it.

May Wednesdays be skipped, Thursdays be kept and Fridays only start at 4.30pm. Thank you.

PS. Hayley's damn cute when she headbangs. Well, she's cute even when she's not headbanging anyway. Lol. (Hints at possible learning of Paramore songs since they're pretty easy to play.)

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [8:11 PM]*

Y'know, just before GP paper, I couldn't sleep. Was far too excited, jumping around, headbanging, singing Burn. Then it was too hot to sleep. Tossed and turned about in bed, thinking about stuff. For some weird reason, I started to think about my father; how I didn't want to follow in his footsteps. I suddenly didn't want to let my mother down. I didn't care for whatever the world sees, but I just don't want to let anyone down. Don't want to let myself down.

I guess it's really time to shine, to excel in what I'm supposed to be doing now: studies. Hahaha, but with that said, I doubt I'll really get myself down to it. But guess what, I'm always ready to expect the unexpected, even from myself.

Enough of the dopey stuff, I've taken quite a liking to Chinese pop now. (Yes, I still call them Chinese pop even if they call themselves Chinese rock since C-rock is really just teeny weeny bit heavier than C-pop.)

Mayday. You can hear The Beatles' influence on them. You can hear the heavier-then-C-pop riffs and overall, it's some kind of mixed genre of rock and pop. I guess it's usually soft, but hard at times. I'm referring to the riffs of the songs, please. Furthermore, they've got this anthemic-feel to their music so I guess it's pretty good for me to want to listen. Never came into terms with mainstream music though. Bleh.

Cheer Chen or Chen Qi Zhen. Sweet sounding and pure voice. Eloping To The Moon is shows off her zai vocals. Not to mention that she's playing a Fender Jaguar. (Maybe just syncing, but who cares, she's pretty.)

To clarify a bit...
Japanese-pop = Chinese-metal
English-pop = Chinese-rock
English-rock = Chinese-deathmetal
Yngwie Fatsteen = Chinese-doesnotexist.

In conclusion, the genres here are ranked according to their heaviness.
C-pop < C-rock < C-metal < E-pop < E-rock/J-pop < E-metal/J-rock < J-metal < DragonForce < All other power metal bands < The rest of the heavy/neo-classical bands.
Well, at least that's what I thought after talking to Yonie.

Note though, I don't really like those mopey dopey Chinese love songs, please no. I cannot stand them, sometimes. Just like their heavier riff songs. But their heavier riff songs are usually just like English pop sometimes. Even Herman Li is heavier than them. Oh well, at least I've come to like some Chinese bands. Guess that's all for now, will take a nap before studying Chemistry.

Oh, and I want to play Harvest Moon all over again! :)

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [2:53 PM]*

There are plenty of news going around town. Some are good while others are bad. Let's do a little recap on what's going on in the world/Singapore.

First of all, Michael Jackson died. 50. Heart attack. I'm not very much affected by it, or rather, I'm not really much affected by deaths. Even of those of loved ones. Let's see, out of so many MJ songs, those that I really liked are Beat It, Bad and Thriller. So I guess I'm not much of a MJ fan; only some random times when I listened to non-metal stuff do I chance upon Mj songs. Serendipitously found, I guess, through the really funny Bafalaxed version of the Indian Thriller. But in just a short time, I must say, this MJ dude has got awesomely slick dance moves. Not to mention the guitar riffs in Beat It is cool too. So, the King of Pop has died. R.I.P.

Death. Is it some sort of taboo to say such inauspicious matters at home, or even discuss it at all? For some of the people, they fear death. Or perhaps they are too conservative about death. Let's not say it's a bad thing; fear for death has become an exclusively Singaporean culture. Kiasi, isn't it? Gets you away from misfortunate events. What I'd like to point out is that Death is not to be feared as we are released from our physical, empty vessels. Spirituality and stuff, let's not go too engrossed in that subject. No, I don't want to die young either; live a fulfilling life, try out exotic liquors, play live in a band, find a girlfriend, who knows? Therefore, carpe diem.

But I cannot. For the Devil inside of me is of opposite polarity to my enthusiasm. For what I have set out with zeal, I repel myself with procrastination. This is the sort of crap I've to go through to mature, I guess. To set my goddamned heart and soul into something and never back out from it.

Something Bouncy taught me. For every encounter, expect the unexpected. I guess it's cool when someone talks to you. Like I say, it's definitely more exciting, fun and enriching when you study something alive; humans, for example, rather than something dead; formulaes and maths and all the crap the government is trying to inject us with. Interactions between humans, that's one thing to look out for because sometimes it's funny. Oh well, I seemed like I've digressed a lot from the news thingy. (As usual... sigh.)

Second news: I'm actually going into a mid-year exam without paying attention to previous lectures/tutorials AND not revising. I wonder how it'll turn out; I'll probably just flunk everything. Then comes Fish's idea of owning Apples. I feel crappy; I couldn't go today. I've missed you cosplaying for the second time. So forgive me, Tysunkete. (You just got so many nice names to call by.)

I don't play games for playing games; I just don't want to study. I guess I should've known my chosen path. I've said that since Secondary 3. Mrs Chee can be witness to that. Wonder why I came to JC? For every wrong choice I make in life, there's something sweet to be found in it. Sounds like bittersweet dark chocolates to you, right? (: Let's not dwell on it anymore. Studying and the likes, spoils the mood, seriously.

(Slept. Sunday, 1908 hours.)

Back from the airport, fell asleep at home for a while - i.e. power napped. Was too tired, didn't sleep well at all. Pandora boot up slightly laggy, but at least I covered some ground today. What, that was close to 6 chapters today? I guess it's the most productive studying session I've ever had in my entire life. That and I don't really study well in groups. Luckily this time it's only the handsome, smart, lame, irritating and Yijie. Spent almost an hour or two doing lame stuff like posting how idiotic he is on the GE blog and just, well, talking. Not that we ever got into anything serious. iPhone's really good, it's almost like a mobile PC. Sorry people, I live under a rock. I don't mind one for Christmas actually. Wait, someone owes me three dates now, right? :D

Anyway, I realised for the past 17 years, I haven't styled my hair even once. Today was close to getting my hair layered. But as usual, I just went with the 'cut short' and sit down and let the dude carve a mushroom out of my hair. I rather just go to school with long hair, seriously. The thing is, it's a $10 express cut shop; don't think they can do layering. Coupled with me knowing zilch about layering, I doubt my hair length and thickness is enough for layering. There goes my dream of having Kenshin's style of hair. Bah, short, mushroom hair makes me sick.

I think this post is substantially long with a lot of crap in it. Sorry for the lack of visuals, really can't be arsed to find anything on the web to put down. Plus I don't take pictures much. I just I'll just go for now.

Don't have my travel declaration thing; don't have a printer. I guess I can't go to school tomorrow. I'm screwed anyway, studied half-way for Chemistry. Did I mention I still haven't touch my tutorials? I regretted slipping away. Now to ask Jon for game. I'll go for now, leave you all with my mushroom head to eat. Navaer.

PS. I realise my post titles have nothing to do with the details of the post itself. Maybe you all should try to find meanings for the titles since there may be deeper details in it, waiting for y'all to discover. But don't think too much, for there may be nothing at all. :)


||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [10:39 PM]*

When life puts you on a tipping point, what do you do? That, my readers, is my question to all of you for this post.

What do you do when you're disadvantaged? Do you go the extra mile, put in the extra strength and hardwork to achieve, say, the same as what someone would if he or she didn't put in as much as you do? Won't you say that it's unfair? But then again, life is always unfair. The saying goes, you can't have the cake and eat it too. I suppose it all boils down to perception. And will power.

Take me for an example - potential which will never be unleashed. Downfall caused by noone other than himself. I don't work hard to fight for what I want. I demand it to grow legs and come to me. Spoilt brat? You bet I am. I don't even care for what other mortals see of me. As long as I'm fine and dandy with myself, I don't really care, actually. Perhaps it's just my alter ego; am a Gemini afterall. Christians don't believe in that sort of mumbo-jumbo, right?

My eyes are failing me already, and so are my ears. Even played Final Fantasy and got into a dangerous encounter with a Marlboro before? Yes, it's the exact case for me. I'm blind, deaf, berserk and crazy. I know I shouldn't be answering my own questions. I know I shouldn't be talking to myself. It's weird, but sometimes when you're a genius with beautiful eyes, you can't do anything but stare at your own reflection in the water and fall in love with it.

Today's mass conversation did something very good. It put my poetic, alter ego into play. Guess what they said were tad bit thought-provoking. It got me to write. And that's good thing because Pandora is running. Is very healthy at this very moment. But then, I don't think I'm narcissistic. Simply because people who are not beautiful cannot be narcissistic. If they are, they're being delusional. Of course, I'm one who sees truths behind lies, lies behind truths; the truth behind facades, the heart inside the body, the mind inside the head. The one who resonates with realistic truths, of course, not totally nihilistic. Therefore, I cannot be delusional.

Why, I see with jaded eyes and can see through your soul. It's part of being able to read minds anyway. Like how you say it, maybe being able to see and read 'otherly' things is not really good afterall. A double-edged sword. A curse and a blessing. No wonder they say writers are an eccentric bunch.

Perhaps I should stop my ranting, it's going no where and probably no one understands what the heck I'm trying to convey. It's just like... a monkey on a typewriter. Writing 103 pages of long, stupid notebooks, trying to prove to you something so simple that you cannot see because you are blind. What's the use?

Let X be the number of days I've spent with you. As X tends towards infinity, the decline of interest rises exponentially towards infinity, too. In a way, everyone is like an insane writer. There's always this side to you, writing, and writing, and writing nonsensical stuff which no one will ever understand but you. Thus, you make yourself look egoistic, prententious and sophisticated when you know very well that you are not.

If there is one single school of philosophy that I'd choose to follow, it'll be the Yours Truly psychology, by the insane poet. Convention. I don't believe in that crap, I do things unconventionally. Unorthodox. Uncommon. Uncyclopaedic. Hark at me going off my hatter.

I really should sleep now. Alter Ego's tired. Goodnights my dear readers.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [1:02 AM]*

How long as it been since it lasted rained? I don't know, but thank God that it rained. (Just a form of speech, no religious connotations whatsoever.) The Earth is dying, the temperature is rising. The beautiful raindrops falling on my head. (:

I really like rainy weathers. It has an aura of serenity, cools the mind and body. Of course, it sucks when I'm trying to go out, but I always prefer rain to shine. Never liked to sweat. A bit of regret thought, I slept through the rain. Woke up only at 2.15pm today, I just snoozed in bed through the rain. No wonder it felt so cold with the air-con on. Snuggling under my blanket kept me warm enough to want to sleep through the day. Too bad my 'priorities' are calling out to me.

Yes, recent chats with Fish made me want to study harder. Always the case, ain't it, since it's probably the same for O's too. Little stuffs like that give great motivation for lazy people like me. Don't know, but I thought that's cool. Motivation brings you to places where the physical body can't. It's all in the mind, and when the heart, soul and flesh are in union and all willing to concentrate, to focus on a single particular job at hand, then the fruits of their labour will be twofold. Perhaps only now - Yes, I know that Wednesday afternoon is a tad late - then can I really focus on studying and kick Apple's arse.

Anyway, what are the chances that a H1N1 pandemic will break out in Singapore before school reopens and is so severe that schools have to be close? I guess it's probably close to 0%. But isn't it ironic; Us wanting to put our lives and others into danger just for school to close down. It isn't necessarily with malicious intent, but we all just want some extra time with our family, our friends and our loved ones. To catch on with our social life, to have more time to study, or for the gamers, more time with our games and online friends. (No, I don't game much anymore.)

Blast some metal in the rain! But the rain has stopped. Just a tiny weeny drizzle, little raindrops. Aren't they cute. I guess after fixing my breakfast-lunch-hightea 3-in-1, I'll start to pick up the most powerful weapon for me: The Pen.

I dread. I dread the days to come, the examinations to come. I know for sure that my full potential will not be unleashed. Even still, I contemplate on going out with friends this week. Perhaps I shouldn't, I can't disappoint my mother. I'll have to be... someone useful. I don't want to let anyone down, but most of all, I didn't want to let myself down. Remembered that I still am not clear on what I want to be when I grow up. Game designing is of course, the primary goal in mind. Providence isn't on my side; socio-economy background isn't there. Many things that people have to strive harder than others because they are in a disadvantage. For me, I guess that the disadvantage is so big, then when I start to slip, I let go of myself and just slip into the abyss.

When you stare at the abyss long enough, the abyss stares back at you. And in Soviet Russia, abyss slips into YOU!!

Okay, I think that previous sentence is the ultimate anti-climax and anti-tension sentence ever.

Bleh, after reading what Yijie wrote for me, (and everyone else. (: C'mon, you ALL have read the other sections, right?) I felt touched. Because, like I said, I place friends top in my priority list. Maybe others may see me as hypocritical or over-enthusiastic, but yes, mortals fear what they do not understand. I need to think up of something new, otherwise I'll just keep repeating myself like an old, malfunctioned radio. Or a haunted typewriter.

Hah, shall go fix my 3-in-1 lunch now. 3pm already and am hungry. See you all~!

PS. Like how YY nicely put it: Must be balanced, there cannot be any imbalance. And he starts with all the philosophical shit. Said I've chosen the path as a JC (Have I really?) and must 'walk' the path I've chosen. Thanks to Bouncy and Fish for helping me choose my revision topic too: Chemistry.

Yet, my guitar... For some reason, my fingers today are awesome. I've managed to sweep a lot better in Canon Rock. It seems as though the guitar plays on its own. It's the sort of feeling I want to have while auditioning for combo band. Sigh, still procrastinating. Need to study... but will I ever find time? And I'm even finding Jon right now...

FOCUS.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [2:18 PM]*

There's just so much to do, and there's so little time. I will really appreciate the one week extended holidays, seriously. Yet, now deep inside, the guility stings me so much more... Because I haven't really been spending time with you, right, Fish?

I'm really sorry, I won't say the lack of time's an issue; it all boils down to proper time management. I, for one, put friends at the top of my priority lists. Of course, there are a couple of other people whom I didn't talk much these few months, but I will like to take this chance to apologise to y'all. Let's just say it's the honour that wouldn't let it lay down, yeah? With me becoming more grown up, I have to say my circle of friends has widen. Learning how to discern the good people from the bad helps a l'il, but as Poon likes to say, there is no distinct areas of white and black in life; there is always a grey patch. Therefore, we must keep the fragile equi... Haha, quoting Poon can be funny at times. I got a feeling I've overused it thought.

Anyway, like I said in the last post, I prefer quality over quantity. Good company equates to good time. Sometimes, we just click. Sometimes, we don't. I guess it's a love/hate relationship, because of my character. I won't persuade, because anything won't be possible if the heart and soul is not willing to. Don't you get the idea that sometimes, mortals fear what they cannot comprehend and thus they ostracize and dislike? Yes, it's like how they see a weird dog crossing their paths.

Let's just say I'm not exactly jubilant today because this entire post was supposed to be something else but Fire Fox decided to slip up on my last night at 2am when I was typing the post. Hence, this entire post became something else. Therefore, I don't really like what I'm typing because I don't remember last night's post. It is so true when they say pen down your thoughts the moment you have 'em because if you don't, they go poof. Good ideas come and go, most happening right before sleep for me. It's just that when Pandora activates, you get better thinking capabilities and analytic skills.

Of course, I'll have to thank my readers for making me want to continue this blog. Churning up posts runs the Pandora, which in turn makes me sharper. I don't want to have Alzheimer's disease okay, because 人老了，不中用了。

My mother just went back from JB. Guess what she bought me?

*Drumrolls*

High-cut shoes! Omigosh, that instantly reminds me of Heather/June. The good thing is... the pair of hair-cut shoes is only SGD 10+. I guess it's a real steal. And the thing is, my mother found SGD 75 in the toilet. So everything is literally free. So much for H1N1, I have my maid going out and back from Genting, my mother going out and back from Malaysia, a relative coming in to stay with us from Kuala Kangsar and another friend flying in from L.A, transitting from Japan.

Can I please have my extended holidays? I said please, therefore you must comply. Or I'll shoot you.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [12:15 AM]*

Ain't nothing so philosophical, but I guess these three Ps must be in place for one to succeed in life. Point-counterpoint, for your information, is just my take on Steve Morse's instrumental solo of the same name. I interpretated it somewhere along the lines of Newton's Third Law: For every action, there is an opposition and equal reaction. Except it doesn't apply only for Physics, but for life too.

Imagine a life without conflicts. It will be even more boring than the one we have now. It'll be too smooth-sailing, and there is no room for growth. Then, there will be no such thing as friends or enemies, because everyone will have the same. Somewhat, I find it unimaginable; simply because conflict exists in tandem with life.

Which leads to a second thought: Quality over quantity. Yes, another issue in our society. Do we place too much emphasis on quantity instead of quality? And if so, do we inject creativity into what we do, or do we follow trends like mindless sheeps?

I'm one for quality over quantity for the reasons are simple. Having 20 friends in a gathering by not be as fun or entertaining or even meaningful as having just 2 friends in a gathering. Sometimes, it's just open to intepretation because what one man sees as wine may be another man's poison. That is extremely evident everywhere; politics, society issues and even music.

I'm not in reflective mood... yet. So it's best not to dwell on these issues much. Anyway, I've attended my first ever church meeting and it's quite cool. Mr Choo's wedding, that is.

For my life, only Purpose is not there. I need to find this Purpose. It's not strong enough. Compare it to the light emitted from a wisp and that of a burning Phoenix. Whoopie-me, what stark contrasting imagery used. But being a wisp is sometimes better than a Phoenix, I guess. Silent, mysterious and dangerous. Anyway, I feel like being lame today.

Nevermind, forgot what was the lame stuff I wanted to say. This is so filleresque. Time to go check for new updates of Liar Game. See y'all now!


||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [6:43 PM]*

No, the title is not in referrence to Bon Jovi's album. Well, I guess only those in GE will know that it means. I wonder if there is anyone that is not from TPJC that still reads my blog. Will be heart-warming to know that I have some die-hard reader and of course, motivate me to blog more frequently.

Know what created this hiatus? Ensemble, life and Facebook.

Facebook's a real killer. Just go there everyday when no one's around and just stone and do stupid quizzes. Only 5% of the quizzes are accurate and good. The rest is just nonsense.

So life. Gatherings, outings, the lot. It's good to have friends to go out with but when the boredom and loneliness return, it's twofold.

Much thanks to Bouncy for making me want to revive my blog, although there ain't much I can blog about. Panorama, Muchachos Del Tango, Ensemble camp, failed EXCO meeting, Hong Xiang's barbecue-cum-birthday celebration and Mr Choo's wedding pretty much sums up my holiday. Is there time for revision or studies? Sadly, no. I haven't picked up a pen in close to a year and Machinery isn't working very well.

Probably rusted in the hinges. Seeing how others are stressful about mid-term doesn't help rejuvenate Machinery. Wait, I have to be more original. Let's call it Pandora now. Pandora can't run because of the lack of usage. I think I'll devote last week of holidays (hopefully) to repairing Pandora. But Pandora is probably working very hard, albeit not academically. Been a good listener, study of human is an interesting subject, seriously. Now, if only Pandora would start work on academics and then maybe, once I get into a university, I will have more choices to choose from. However, being versatile and all-rounded doesn't help either.

I'm not sure... I feel pretty lost. I really want to see Mrs. Chee again, perhaps that would put me in the right gear. I'd love to excel in studies; it's just the putting in effort part.

Anyways, I don't think it's wise to gossip on MY blog... But whatever. :D

Talking with people... really cheers me up. Reduces boredom too. And you get to know about how others live their life... And pairing others up is really fun.

Let's see... Best not to put any names, so yeah, still be boring. Talk to me on MSN. Don't got anything more to say already. I'll just leave it here Bouncy, alright? :D

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [11:46 PM]*

This is going to be an extremely long post, so watch out!

It was a truly hectic, but fun-filled week. I'm suffering from Camp Withdrawal Symptomps (CWS), and thus please pardon me for any English mistakes, for it is not the lack of sleep that disturbs me, but is the actual lack of sleep that I yearn. Sounds weird, right? After sleeping for less than 10 hours for the past week, I'm actually yearning to be sleep deprived. So now, let's backtrack time to about 6 days ago...

2nd June. It was rehearsal for Panorama. Everything well, the morale was high and everyone was having fun. It was the first time for me to be performing in the Esplanade and of course, I was in an extremely cheerful mood. Although waiting times were long, we did l'il things that made the time fly. From doing crazy cheers, to having mini-concerts, to just doing stupid things. We played well today and everything went like a breeze. I went home like 11pm and still had to do Muchachos Del Tango scripts along with GPP. Tomorrow's me is quite tired.

3rd June. Actual Panorama event. I think the whole first story was filled. We dressed up and went for the performance. Yes, don't have to reiterate the fact that today is probably the worst day of the week. First, J1s have stuffs missing all along the place. It was found in extremel intrigueing and weird places such as tags being misplaced in drawers and on top of the dressing mirrors thingy. Does 'sabotage' come into mind, anyone? No names shall be conjured but we all well know inside that who's trying to screw around with us.

Yes, we messed up Guantanamera. I was extremely pissed after the performance, I do not deny. But perhaps we've learnt that for an ensemble to do well, it matters that all ensemble members give 110% effort. It won't work if just 1 or 2 of them don't know how to play their pieces. Let's learn from our mistakes and not dwell on the past, even though this piece of bad memory shall further haunt us maybe forever. I would love to give kudos to two persons who made the performance much better.

Kudos to Angelyn our conductor who made so much effort to try to beat time to us. She still smiled although we screwed the first part up. Trying so hard to beat time for us by hitting her hand. If it was just a normal rehearsal, it would've been funny. :x Just to quote from herself, she was like "omg follow, ONE 2 3 4!". In the end, it took another person to rectify this boo-boo.

It was Carl our drummer who picked up mighty guts of steel to beat for us. This trull spectacular beat made the ensemble snap back into the correct tempo again, and we then confidently played the rest of the song without much errors. So three cheers for these two saviours!

Even though my face was blacker than Bao Jing Tian, I went through some reflection and well, some things just happen. Just to quote Murphy (Was that his name?), if shit happens, it happens.

4th June. Muchachos Del Tango. My first time running of a concert as overall second-in-charge. Let me tell you, it was extremely fun working side-by-side with an experienced leader, i.e., Angelyn. Not to mention, the other i/cs did all their best like Publicity and Logistics. It was tiring but enriching. We all ran around trying to minimize errors and to get stuffs done. I was whoopie-me in being in-charge because I have to run around to do different kind of stuff.

All in all, the fruits of our labour are harvested. TPGE and the Germans totally blew the audiences' brains off. Oh yah, and the German guys were really talented and cute. Mr. Afro was ownagezorzs. I didn't have the guts to shake his/their hands because I'm sure that if I accidentally scratched that, it would've incurred me like a few million of dollars. Anyways, it was unbelievably awesome. Everything went well, things were ownage and we were also dead tired. Alyssa, Emilyn and Jia-en came to 'peng chang' too!

5-6th June. One of the most awesome days ever. EVER. If I were to elaborately explain everything, it would've taken up like over 9000 essays. Basically, that one day seemed to be like a week. We had so much fun, we bonded as an ensemble and we rocked. Kudos to J2s and the EXCO for making it such a blast. Elizabeth's letter really touched me as well. Apart from slight mishaps here and there, we made it through and our group was first! It was a close fight; Group 4 was just 10 points behind. I guess the additional 20 points Clarence gave me for helping out with the amplifiers was worth the effort. :)

Highlight of the camp was probably the under-performed night games. Wait, under-performed isn't a suitable word. Under-time probably explains the games. Night games WERE THE BOMB. The quest-ish night games really took real-life role-playing to another level. We tried to save Elizabeth, our group leader, first. We couldn't see her due to her petite size until she shone light into my eyes. When we went to fetch water... Yee En's banshee-esque scream scared the whole lot of them. I bet Yee En had such a good time scaring 'em, they were so cheesily easy to scare. Then we hurried over to the field. Hong Xiang the headbanging metal ghost is big ROFL. Teaming up with him is the crying ghost Wei Quan. The last cry/fright from him was awesome. Scared the shit out of all the girls in my team. Not to mention their ear-piercing screams were worse than the 'ghosts's'. John's station of Karaoke was funny. I could see Clarence under the table from the start, with his white TPGE shirt and his well-built size. The girls were too busy singing the songs to even notice him and then at the end the ghost just popped out. Both from the screen and from behind, scaring the crap out of them AGAIN.

Cheryl and Yijie's quest was awesome because we took a long time to find Yijie and Cheryl really did fit the distressed bullied ghost very well haha. *Cough* Gabriel *Cough*. Yee En scared them for the nth time again. >_> I kinda pity Heather though, stuck alone in that damn bloody hot room. Too bad we didn't have enough time to go to the guitar room/amphitheatre. Still, we managed to ressurrect our seniors. So I guess it was a success!

Next would probably be water-bombing. I had one single regret: I didn't put on my contacts. Therefore I wasn't really involved when the first bomb went smack into my face and sent my spectacles flying. If I remembered correctly, my first bucket of water was on Cheryl. Then 4 bombs onto John. Then another bucket onto the then-dry Yee En. Then everyone was instantly everywhere. All running around and throwing bombs/buckets of water. It was funny when we poured water onto the J2s as they sat on the field. I think the only person that was dry was Elizabeth. Even Hong Xiang, Clarence and Yijie weren't spared from the bombings. In fact, everyone enjoyed being wet hahaha. Then we smelt of flour, mayonnaise and chilli. So, while looking for a spot to wash our pants, we found Yijie washing pails. Guess what? The washer got washed.

Then there was the usual Amazing Race and other stuff including SL pre-trial and other dry games. Not to mention, we had Mahjong sessions with the J2. Yu Qian is the champion. She was high with her canto-pop song and was the only one still energetic after mahjonging the night out. Kudos to Zi Xiu for her perseverance and finally 'hu'ing one round. Yee En is really zai when it comes to playing Mahjong. When time tends towards 6am, I was already washing the tiles with my face on the table. Then I had like some sleep here and there. 15 minutes of power naps was awesome. Like I said, if I were to elaborately touch on everything, it'll be too much for this 'long' post. So yeah, on towards hand-over ceremonial.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't on my face but it was really touching. That sense of camaraderie is awesomeee. When Yee En rubbed her eyes, I thought she was tearing lol. Anywho, the whole ceremony was swift, but the memories shall stay in my head forever and a day.

Okay, after going into conversation with the new EXCO people and bullcrapping around, I forgot what to say already lol. Those who attended the camp probably don't need me to repeat whatever they felt. Because it's really awesome stuff. Oh, there are sooo many new events to look forward to. Really good stuff.

Not to mention, I think I know why the BBQ is on 18th. So Hong Xiang can officially drink alcohol already! =D

The new EXCO is already coming up with so many scandalous scandals. Hahahaahaa, I'm signing off now!

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [12:22 PM]*

Hey, it's a pretty boring life I lead, so yeah, since there's nothing much to blog about, let's start off with ensemble stuffs. I don't have to reiterate but TPGE is awesome. It's much more than awesome, but there ain't no words to describe TPGE's awesomeness. Nor the uniqueness of TPGE members. So, woke up pretty late today for banner design and stuff, but still managed to get there on time to 'supervise'. Pretty much did nothing 'cept to put my nose into everything. Spraying, cutting, designing and bits and pieces of everything.

Well, most fun part is the outing with ensemble members. Initially, I tried to get people to go out, but failed miserably. Angelyn went out with her classmate(s). Earnest didn't wanna go out since he watched the show already. Dominic is barbecue sauce. Wai Ping had family lunch. Jay and I thus went to go with ensemble people to watch 3D Monsters vs Aliens. It's not really an intelligent or zai movie... But it's funny. For a while. Otherwise, the company was great. Elizabeth's hair is ownage. And is really ownage.

So went around and hang out and stuff. Talked about stuff. Here and there and stuff. Y'know? 'Nuff said. No elaboration.

Sometimes, it's not that I DON'T WANT to. Sometimes, it is I CANNOT. There is a difference. But you've known me to challenge anything and everything I dislike, right? Of course, I didn't go down without a fight. I tried to fight circumstances, I try to fight Providence. It's a rather futile challenge though, I've been missing so far. I'll always try. To fight. I'm not one to take an insult lightly. Fight for who I am, what I believe and what is to become. After all, live your life your way. Guess it's really me to have fun. Hah!

Equilibrium, so I say. But then, I don't usually have things my way. It's really hard to juggle... stuff. I really am able to see what is not meant to be seen. That sounds weird, right? No, it's not like the book Elizabeth lent me. Hah, now I'm speaking nonsense. I'm far too engrossed already... Over and out.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [9:18 PM]*

Timeless Miracle is the best power metal band ever. Ever

If neo-classical power metal is your cake, then this is the one band you cannot miss. They have insane guitar and keyboard solos and extremely metallic riffs. (Well, I wouldn't say they go very fast like DragonForce since they're more of the neo-classical than power.) However, don't be fooled. Because they are equals to or more than power metallic than DragonForce. Why? Because they have catchy riffs, awesome technical work and crazy-ass lyrics. They take influence not only from neo-classical and power metallic genres, but also traditional folkish songs. Into The Enchanted Chambers's main riff is a improvisation of a folk riff lol.

I REITERATE.

PICK UP TIMELESS MIRACLE NOW!

It's worth over 9000 DKP.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [11:13 PM]*

This is a really good day. The guitarist's block is finally over! The fingers are magically running through crazy, face-melting licks and the blurred picking's finally coming back.

Compare that to last week when I can't even play a power chord properly lol. Holidays are here, but the first two weeks are fully booked by ensemble and lessons. Third week's for chalets. Fourth week left, and I can't game because mid-terms are coming soon. That leaves very little room for outings and gatherings.

Time management. Priorities. C'mon, show 'em whatcha gonna do on mid-terms! Let 'tis be motivation for me to study hard. While stocks last. This is the first time I've been to a wedding lunch. Going to, anyways.

Boohoo, there is nothing that can cure my boredom. Is there nothing left to do anymore? Don't mention studying please. I think I need to see Mrs. Chee. Anyone up for TKSS reunion? I think it'll be cool to revisit secondary school. Can't imagine how I wasted 4 years there. Should've done more... A lot more. Reminiscing about the past, not a bad past time. Used to be such an active young lad, basketball, football, table tennis and the likes. Look what I've been now, sloppy and recluse person who hangs out in front of his PC. Maybe I should get back into shapes. Start lifting weights.Start doing 12midnight runs at East Coast Park. (Clement, it's time we get some midnight runs and pratas.) Yup, dedication and passion.

Dedication. Passion.

The world doesn't live on these values no more. It doesn't pay to be kind, it's a real killer. Hah, 'nuff said. Time to practise while the feel's there. See ya!

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [12:47 PM]*

Guess what? I've metamorphed into a fully-fledged TPJCian today. Ergo, neighborhood college student. Ergo, rebellious. Ergo, argues with teacher. No, I won't condescend to those levels. After all, all I merely did was to rebuke and challenge the teacher. I mean, I've done the same thing in Primary and Secondary school, didn't I? Hah, remember those times sure were funny: Pointing the middle finger to the VP, skipping Chinese lessons and sleeping throughout classes. It's not something a normal person would be proud of, but hey, it's part and parcel of life! But I just somehow can't take it down when someone insults my intelligence. Yup, I retorted with a "What makes you think I will fail my studies?"

You are but a mere teacher in a neighborhood college. Your experience isn't anything, maybe it's worth a penny or two. The only respect I have is of your values, but not your close-mindedness about life. I live by my principles, and for that, I will not allow anyone to trespass. I'm always sure that the usual reaction would be as such, but everytime it happens, human psychology that is, I'm bound to be surprised. No matter how much I can predict the outcome, I am still awed.

Mortals fear what they cannot comprehend or understand, and hence when they meet with someone of a different calibre, a different mindset, a fish swimming against the flow of the river or a different genius in all, they will all cook up excuses or tell lies. For they do not understand and thus they ostracize. But I'm used to it already, when does it stop or end, I do not for. For as long as I continue with my way of life, society will be judgemental and upon judgement, they do not care if they had sinneth in the first place. They are fearful and look upon all they do not understand as stray dogs. That I can understand of mere mortals.

Please, pardon me if this sounds like a rant post. In fact, is it rather of a reflection than of ranting. Spare me from judgement, alright? (:

Furthermore, it is with utmost disgust. Of self. That I think I screwed up my interview. 'Twas the first interview I had in my entire life; I didn't believe someone of my calibre should work in a part time job. Narcissism, superiority complex or just plain jackarse arrogant? Yup, I think I have enough butterflies in my stomach to enhance my evasion to around a rate of 9120%. Indeed, enough butterflies stacked up diminishingly to have an evasion rate of over 9000. Okay, enough of the stupid jokes. I've prepared for the worst and am hoping for the best, so best of luck to myself.

They usually say those who are condemned to the Purgatory are doomed for eternity to burn in Hell. I would agree that thus far, but once again, I'm being lifted from there by a kind soul. Not many times do I have such parole, but I've been on amnesty. Once many a time, I've been lulled by deceit. But, well like Garfield would say, I'll bite. No, I assure you, it's not Hellslayer92. Rofl, anyway, when two similar souls get bound by the inexplicably spiritual link, it will be hard to deny happiness, or more of escape and relief.

Back towards a more light-hearted topic. I feel really awesome on my 17th birthday. As far as I can remember, it's the first real 'celebration party' I had all these years. Plentiful thanks to my dear Sister and Jia Ying; y'all know me real well. Dark chocolates are really wonderful. So wonderful that I don't feel like opening my presents. Thanks to everyone for their wishes. Well, it's rather belated, but yeah. Been busy with lots of stuff nowadays. Not even sure whether I can get a position or not... Nevermind. Bah.

Must be the lack of moon tonight. Hah, signing off. The ghostly galloon is no longer tossed around the sea of deadly mist anymore.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [11:11 PM]*

This is really bad, this sudden bout of slight string of seriously unfortunately stupid events. I'd attribute this to me being quite useless and low-efficient. Oh and guess what? This time I'm not listening to power metal for the cure. It's back to basics with Deep Purple and Yngwie Malmsteen. =)

The powers of Jon Lord and Ritchie in unison just shivers me timbers! But have any of you guitarists or musicians had any 'bad days' when everything just goes wrong? I find it irritating, and to my extreme frustration, it lingered on for almost a week already. My sweeps, arpeggios and even simple note-strumming are all going wrong. Those obnoxious power chords just refused to budge. I can't even play Canon Rock properly, after all those days of training.

It's really those days where everything just doesn't go your way; compound that with a Internet that fluctuates daily and you have an angry, pissed off person. However, remember the days of Eden Hall, and I will relax. An unobstrusive bar in the middle of a bustling Japan and the only entrance to an other-worldly paradise is through a heavy, wooden double-door. For those who love liquors, do watch the anime: Bartender. I promise you, it's good stuff. And the bartender, Sasakura Ryu-kun, is quite cute lol. Sometimes I Feel Like Screaming - Deep Purple comes to mind immediately. Kudos to Steve Morse!

Next song... Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees. Hahahaha, never could've guessed that, eh? That's really old classic English pop/dance. I think I need to reflect on my priorities in life, maybe find Mrs. Chee and get some 'whack you left-right-centre' sort of motivation. I can't go on failing all my subjects, can I? Fish would kill me if she'd know that I failed so much. Or maybe not. Hahahaha! Okay, I guess the June holidays came in just the right time. I need to stay away from everyone and everything and just spend some time to think. Think. Use the Machinery. Think. Maybe I should go on a vacation. Some place like Japan or Australia will be nice. The juxtaposition of the city and the countryside is really good inspiration for the budding creativitist. Add that with wonderful music. I'll be an entirely happy person all over again. Well, to look on the bright side of life, at least I have wonderful music with me now. :)

If I were to be a Christian someday, and if there was one thing I had to be thankful to God, that would be the creation of music. Real, pure music. That is, your classical and (non-modern) metal. Yah but it'll be repetitive and boring if I keep claiming that these genre of music are the good stuff people should listen to. And to each his own taste, right? Whatever is with those posers saying that screamo and death metal are heavy metal? That's absolut bullshit. But. There are always people who don't allow conformity to rule their lives and that one of them, my dear friends, is yours truly who doesn't follow mainstream and takes on the path of the non-mainstream! Now I feel like composing something...

--

Threading upon the fragile glass pathways of love
Here we are on the crossroads of eternity

Misty light illuminates the darkest shades of the night
And through twilight still shining bright

A dreamy vision of you let me felt all the love I never knew
If only we could close our eyes and we are always meant to be

The silver stars shone gently and under the pale moonlight
We stood with our fingers interlocked under the majestic apple tree

Whispering not sweet-nothings but dedication, passion and freedom
For when the two hearts beat in unison, they beat as one

A handful of melodies, a drop of the Blue note, a sprinkle of joy
Are all that is needed to make this love blossom

Let Luna, the mistress of the Moon, be our judge
For our love to blossom into the Full Moon

--

So many Deep Purple and Yngwie Malmsteen songs. So many inspirations. Speaking with people helps too! This really feels like Paradise, I'm in heaven tonight! Hahahaha. Okay, it's 12.30 and I still haven't started on my Literature essay. Time to stop blogging and go off now! Goodnights(mornings) to all y'all late-night owls! Oh and Manchester United's going to stomp Barcelona today. \m/




||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [11:14 PM]*

Remember that Japanese variety show where those wacky Japanese try to 'masquerade'? Yeah, chanced upon that today and was epic rofl. You can't find those kind of things anywhere else, only the crazy Japanese can come up with stuff like that - and Majide. Harrr, there's CJ7 showing on Channel U now. Y'know, it's with llittle wonder why Stephen Chow's movies are always so well-liked. It's some kind of 'down-to-earth' comedy which everyone can relate to. I'm not sure if it's a running gag or what, but they seem to always have a certain set of fixed cast. Reminds me of 'cheong bao'. >_> OOmg, that little furball/doggie/alien is damn cute. FURBALL IS DAMN CUTE. Nyaaaa. Hm, for some reason, CJ7 reminds me of C Major 7. Random and lame, but yeah. Still, the furball is damn cute. (Oh, and I wonder why so many people ask "Why do you want a CMaj7?")

Oh and anyone wanna go shopping with me? I need to get a black shirt as soon as possible for Panorama/German concerts. Yes, I will be playing, but I think I promote it a tad too late; all the tickets are out already... I think. Anywho, will be playing Guantanarema and Somewhere Over The Rainbow, but guess that's old news to y'all already. Yah, so Yijie wants this blog to entertain him. Ironically, he's always the entertainment. Be it being slapped, suaned or picked on, he's always the joker that we all come to love and hate.


Anywho! Don't ever take that Q Vodka. It tastes absolutely terrible. And Yee En even suggested drinking vodka pure. I doubt I can do that. The 8% apple juice, FOR SOME WEIRD REASON, made me feel giddy, high and hot. I think it's because it's been a long time since I drank, that's why suddenly drink liquor become high. Oh and I have to stop smiling to myself. Woah my whole body is red and I can't stop smiling! This is vbad, really bad hahahahah.

OMG THE FURBALL DIED!!!! ;_; That's damn sad. But then the You-Fou came back and over 9000 furballs came running over. Too cute already, and even though Jia Ying said it was a touching movie, I never cried. There's no movie that's made me tear yet. Not any, yet. Although I haven't watched Lake House. =]

After drinking the vodka, I completely forgot what I wanted to type. So yeah, I'll leave y'all as it is. Have to wake up early tomorrow to go to Bouncy Meeting. Hahahaha. Still haven't touch my homework as of yet. Oh and I got suspended by the school for being late thrice. So tata people, hopefully you'll get a kick out of me being high. Haha, goodnights all~!

PS. This whole post is typed out while I was semi-high. So I apologise in advance for any discrepancies or anything stupid/silly.
PSS. Random Trivia. Heather can play a little of Master of Puppets, Yee En can hold her liquor well and I'm not drunk.
Can you discover the hidden message?




Oh. Happy birthday to myself. First blood goes to Jia Ying. And I just took the 'how awesome are you' test on Phaseboots. Guess what's the result? It's "You're *massive amounts of expletives* AWESOME~!" Hahahaha. I also serendipitously found that Elizabeth took some Twilight tests and well, that's pretty cute lol. Guess it's some sort of teenage girl thing... Hmmm. Vampires are a real hit nowadays. Double kill goes to Jay. Whoopie, it's my birthday and I'm high and I don't intend to do any homework. Reason? It's my *expletive*ing birthday! (Hm, just take it that I have birthday all day long so I don't have to do homework, lol.)

Phaseboots also says that I'm teletubbies, the Leeeeeroy Jenkins meme, Gandhi for being an extremely bad liar, Sam from LotR (I'm not really pleased with that, really.), with just 25% twatness and had 100% excelent result for understanding women. Whew, I wonder if that's all hullabaloo bullcrap. Hah.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [5:19 PM]*

Hey I realised it's been a long, long time since I last changed my font. Perhaps this will make your eyes less strained when reading my blog? Well, due to acquaintances over at ensemble, I guess there's been a recent surge to readership. I'm not really used to have this much readers all at once actually, as my blog seems to be quite the low-profile and boring thing. Of course, there are plenty of those who steathily stalk-read and don't make their presence felt.

Somtimes, I just type whatever's on my mind and then post it, without much outside factor influencing my decision. I guess I'll have to further scrutinize what I write before posting, in case I give the game of 'myself' away.

I realised I'm being more fatigued than usual now, it's as though all the novelty has worn away. Isn't it just ironic to find a slime hiding under that kraken shell? Argh my head's splitting right now. I doubt it's really worth all that effort to... well... I don't know. I suddenly felt lost today, perhaps due to being overwhelmed and guilt-ridden for not doing any tutorials at all. It suddenly dawned upon me that if I continue drifting aimlessly like this, I'd end up as a failure like him. Y'know, someone once told me that my perseverance and never-say-die attitude is admirable. But now that I see myself, I'm giving up on almost everything. From the education system, to my homework, to my life. I shouldn't continue with the procrastination.

Now that I feel empowered (again), I'm good to go! To do with all the proposals and homework. It's like 'homejoy' or lack thereof is the subject matter of JC life. It's really surprising how fast time passes by, you'll need that Chronosphere, and it's almost June already. Half a year has passed, and I didn't felt like it has passed. It almost feels as if I'm still stuck in limbo, stuck in that December holidays. Hahaha, I swear I'll get on with academic work in June.

Okay, enough about myself already. The only factors motivating me to write are really plain. Either I'm feeling depressed, or I'm feeling high. Let's talk about something else for a moment. Ensemble. It's really fun to 'gossip' about different senior members and how they will be compatible with each other. Especially those who have the kind of 'husband-wife' look. Ahem. Of course, the relationships we usually gossip about are pretty true. Some are even right-in-your-face obvious. Hah, I shaln't say much here, because there are eyes over the Net.

It's no fun anymore; I obviously don't have time to play MMOs now and DotA's a really shitty game that's so screwed up with wannabes. C'mon, I don't even feel like I want to draft anymore. You know where the biggest irony lies? The only thing I'm ever good at in my entire life is probably just DotA. It's pretty pathetic, but yeah, I'm getting bored with this shit. It's pathetic stuff, I'd willingly exchange my talents for something else. Maybe I need a re-spec, right, Kai Wei? =D I'll spec into a full-time mugger if possible, because that's the 'only path to get into the University and get a good job'. Whatever for, it's pretty much bullshit and lies fed to you while you were young. Bleh, even my posts become so depressing. I don't even want to swear at all.

Enough is enough.

Bathe in the purest of moonlight, Mistress Sierra Mikain, shall purify thy heart and belief. Now all that's left to get me back into high spirits is power metal! Jesus, the joy of man desiring. I find this daunting though. As life tends towards a higher difficulty, the amount of hours spent whining, bitching and moaning approaches infinity. I blame Proof for influencing me to write in this lingo. Timeless Miracle is still the best stuff to listen to when you're down. They make everything feel perfectly fine and joyful; from being outcasted in The Devil, from dying in Down The Gallows, from losing a loved one in Red Rose... It's with great honour and pride that I say I really love power metal. Hah, so there to all you wannabes. :) Btw, Galloglass is a pretty awesome power metal band too. Enough writing for now, lightning strikes at the pinnacle of genius.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [8:34 PM]*

It is henceforth that the project be christened "Exodus Diablos".

Ahh. Literature people are fun. They're sort of like insane mathematicians who can party all night, I think. So the Proof play wasn't bad at all, I would say. But then, it was quite boring since we've all read the book and knew what was going to happen next. Still, there were some parts which I couldn't see as being sarcastic or funny when reading the text, so yeah, it was still a worthwhile experience. Going out for supper after that was cool though. They also also showed Man Utd winning the trophy live at DXO! Congratulations to Manchester United for winning the English Premier League! Thanks to Cameron for giving me a free ride home though.

And just because of that, I missed the ACJC concert. Damn, they just had to clash on the same date. So right now, I'm sitting my arse down on the computer and yes, thinking of many, many stuff. I'm damn sure I can just sit lie down on a comfortable sofa all day, just thinking. Thinking of trivial matters. Thinking of important matters. Everything, basically, that the Machinery can conceive of. Hah.

So, discussing about religious issues with Liyana is quite fun. I mean, it's been a while since I've been provided good entertainment. Y'know, a bantering at night is quite the romantic pasttime, I realised. I reckoned that if day becomes night and night becomes day, it'll be so much more enjoyable. OH. THAT JUST SWITCHED ON A LIGHT BULB IN MY HEAD. No, the whole power grid is switched on in the Machinery. Why didn't I think about this earlier? The whole idea of "turning day into night and night into day". Gosh, I'm such a genius. :)

Okay, I'm now just waiting for someone to get home. Hopefully that person will get home before I finish my drink. Not to mention that I've been drinking ever since I've been staying up late to chat and surf the Net. Now I really need to get my stock replenished; that was the last bottle I had. The moon and stars shine pretty brightly tonight. Yet the winds are still, the air is dead. Isn't the night too heavy? Perhaps it'll be better to live a lifestyle that's not clustered, claustrophobic and suffocating. I don't know how many times I've mentioned that already, though.

I'm but a recluse. A book that is a million pages yet completely blank. As deep as the trenches, as infinite as the skies, and as pure as natural harmonics! :)

Isn't that an interesting way to introduce oneself? Guess what I'm listening to now? Steve Morse's awesome solo pieces! Here's a small list, it'd be impossible to list everything that I'm listening to at the moment... Steve Morse's "Jesus, Joy Of Man Desiring", "Ice Cakes", "Tumeni Notes", Well Dressed Guitar" and "8.5 Minutes Unnamed Solo". Steve Morse's the man, seriously. \m/

Ah but I've diverged from the main issue, as usual. But is there even a main issue at hand? Right. If it was about religion, then I have to say that I'm more of a spiritual person than a religious person. Y'know, the stuff about mind, body and soul. Out of body experiences and stuff like that. I've been introduced to the occult too y'know. But I mostly read those books for recreation alone. No, I don't worship Aleister Crowley. No, I don't do rituals such as cleansing of the soul, exorcism, or the likes of the occult. But I do believe in the theory that the positive attracts the positive and stuff like that. The difference between spirituality and the occult is a really thin line.

Oh and did I mention how irritating it is for my Internet to something screw up? Last time it used to deny me entry to Google.com and Blogger.com. Now it's denying me entry to Youtube.com. How absurd that is? Is that absurd? Of course it is! As Jovi approaches mental unstability, time tends towards infinity. And hence the roots to the quintuple equation becomes complex and equal. Let W be the sum of all possible finite solutions to infinitely numbers of questions, T be the product of intelligence and madness and F be the power of the Mighty Morphine Power Rangers. Which product of all the three gives you WTF. Hah, I'm extremely bored. Meanwhile, I ponder why I'm not even one of a thousandth of Beethoven even though I'm half deaf. What wonderful temperament - fit for a Star. What musical genius, poised and ready to strike at anytime, redefining boundaries, revolutionizing the world and creating all thine creations of one so Holy. Oh by the way, don't you think all of those baroque and roll composer look funny in their portraits? Haha, but it's cool in a certain sort of way. Like how cute Napoleon Bonaparte was when he was young. Er.

I don't know why I'm suddenly listening to Classical music at night. But it's freaking awesome, I tell you. It's better than those Owned Sevenfold, Bullets For This Band and Drop Out Noobs bullshit. Classical and Metal shall always be the mainstream music for me. Indeed, this temperament. And the beauty of an orchestra, an ensemble. The pure aristocracy and heavenly delight in conducting, hearing, listening to an orchestra. None can come close to the pureness of these genres of music.Ecstatic fills me whenever I hear good music. Although not a really good musician myself, I shall now be more motivated to strive for the best! I hope this time the motivation is not as short-lived as the previous ones I had. And I sort of realised that Beethoven and Bach's works are more aggresive than Mozart's. Maybe that's a generalisation or I haven't listen to all of their works before. Y'know, it's just random linking from one youtube video to another... For your information, I don't listen to only the popular pieces. I prefer, as you can guess, the non-mainstream and all those hidden jewels of these composers. It's like striking gold! You suddenly come across a piece filled with so much emotion that you suddenly go Eureka! And then all the joy and bliss flows into you and it's as though the world is alive at 2.45am. Now I only wished my parents gave me a cooler name like Jovi Nekogang Exodus Gabriel Escaweller von Christifield Heimlich-Antonio !Baruti Pekopeko Amontillado el Amosorescow.

A requiem for the glorious hero who fought against the overwhelming force of over 9000-strong. He who fought single-handedly the various sinful demons who yearn for flesh and blood. Defended his honour and valor, his country and his passion. Let him be donned the robes of the sacred and dressed in the angel's raiment. Blessed for us, that he a hero, has made such a noble act of sacrifice to save our kingdom. The Priests gave him the rites, sprinkled the holy water, and the world remained silent. He, our saviour, was gone. The father of mankind, shaped the world today as it were. Let there be no evil, sayeth he. Let there be no sins, sayeth him. But therein lies the problem. For those who he had saved, be the ironic ones who turned their backs on him and then shall emulate the demons and devils of evil and sin. For it is the only ironic that who he has saved are the ones who are damned forever to the bleak abyss of hell.

Wait, I realised I just typed something that would be the sort of stuff you would find in the Bible. I swear I wasn't writting about God or anything blasphemous. Anyway, there's a 1984 filmed called Amadeus which, Captain Obvious strikes, talks about the story of musician genius: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Watched a 7 minutes clip off it and hey, it's pretty interesting. Won 8 Oscars.

Okay, I've been rambling on and on for long and I've forgotten my manners. 3.10am. Perhaps I need some sleep soon. Otherwise I'd end up waking up at 2am again and then not doing my GPP, proposals and homework. Wait, did I even intend to do my homework? No. Well, time to chat for a moment before going to bed. I'll see you guys later in the afternoon. Fare thee well!

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [1:10 AM]*

I've not been writing narratives recently. I don't know, maybe I've really been pretty busy after all. No, not with my school work; I still haven't touch those tutorials that have been secretly rotting under the sofa. Basically, it's about guitaring stuff . And doing those compulsory homework like Literature and PW.

Guitar work is really cool stuff now that I'm in the ensemble and sort of in-charge with a concert for the Germans. Hmm, have to get used to rushing proposals and getting stuff sorted out. Really fun stuff, especially if you're working with cool people. And really nice and fun-loving people. And bouncy people.

Hahaha, otherwise, I think I'll be kept quite busy still, with so many events to micro-manage. And then there's always game design and the RPG that has been waiting for me to design. Damnit, 24 hours is just not enough and I'm seriously lacking sleep. Not that I need long hours like Yi Jie, but yeah, I fell asleep for classes consecutively.

Sooo. I'm running for some EXCO positions on Ensemble! Yeah, sounds ridiculous right? Jovi, here, running for some important huge arse stuff. I reckon it'll be fun, so yeah. Anyways I hope I'll get to conduct once before I leave TPGE. I'll be even freakier than Mr. Freaky Conductor. Oooh and Cherry Bouncy Conductor is going to link me soon. Whoopies. *CoughJayCough*

Bah. There's nothing much to blog about. I lead such a booooring life. It's so boring it's monotonous, depressing and full of blasphemy. Narcissism is sweet stuff if you know how to balance it. But then, if you balance it, it won't be called Narcissism anymore. Furthermore, I'm suffering from Bipolar Disorder. Does it coincide with the fact that I'm a Gemini?

Hahaa, boogles the mind, keeps the creative juices going. After all, geniuses are also madmen in a sense. It's really time to write some plot tomorrow or on Sunday. Let thine light shoneth through the blackest, deepest of abyss; for eyes are thine windows to truth and only the lonely can see.

Argh I'm seriously bored. DotA is no fun. Time to do proposal. Need to impress. :)

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [7:19 PM]*

It's just like the Great Depression. During the Depression, everyone frantically tries to find a solution or a cure. Then when the economy starts to leave the rock bottom area, everyone evaluates their actions and thus, the reflection. And when the Depression is far behind them, the economy is booming, then people are partying and having fun.

Perhaps it's just me. Is that considered as something 'normal', or do you count it as having mild 'bipolar disorder'? I don't know. I don't want to inherhit his 'madness'. Neither do I want to be the bastard son of bastard who will leave the family.

Who cares. For now I'll just concentrate on matters at hand. Can't let down people who have expectations from me, right? Second-in-charge indeed.

Okay, stuff's picking up now. The colours are coming back, the creativity and genius are all coming back. Well, I apologise for those people I've bothered during my depression.

For now, it's going to be ensemble madness. \m/

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [8:00 PM]*

Kuroneko just ripped this post to shreds.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [7:19 PM]*

The Dwarven battle cry, for those stout little ale-loving blacksmiths that we've come to love in epic fantasy titles such as Lord Of The Rings and Warcraft. But won't it be cool if let's say instead of having this...

"See that dude over there? He's Anthony Tap Sum Bong from Hong Kong, Chinatown."

You'll actually have...

"Aye, that rugged lad 'ere be Roram Carinstone. Ye wager me a pint of ale that he's from good ol' Ironforge down Dun Morogh?"

--

It feels good to role-play/cosplay. Obviously it does, brings one to relax and enjoyment. But subtly drowns one's sorrows of mundane life into a swirling whirlpool: Escapism. Why am I suddenly talking about such stuff, you may think. Well, I'd fairly attribute it to late-night reading of Proof, my Literature text, by David Auburn. It's a thin piece of play, only 81 pages long. The ending really sucks. I totally despise and dislike open-ended endings and/or cliffhangers unless it is evident that is must be used. Either that or you give me an epic series like Lord Of The Rings. Otherwise, open-ended/cliffhangers are a giant no-no for me. Oh and there are bountiful uses of cursing and swearing in the play, which is pretty funny in context. I'm shivering with excitement now, can't wait for Saturday. Not only because there is no school, but all Literature students will be heading down to watch the play, live! Yeah, all that swearing and all that smooching brought to life will be real entertaining.

A quote from myself today, "I'm seriously pissed. I've just restringed my guitar and they've rusted already." See, I didn't swear... I've successfully cut down on swearing! It's quite depressing though, my acidic hands wear out and tarnish those beautiful slinkies immediately after Park helped me restring 'em. Maybe because I was playing non-stop for 3 hours for two consecutive days? Nevermind, luckily I've bought some D'addario strings. Probably be good for me to not head down to Sam's anymore; the prices he charges for strings are seriously akin to extortion. Bleh. Oh and I also have to practise my Somewhere Over The Rainbow and Guantanamera. And have to do GGPP. And have to do the tutorials which I haven't touch since beginning of JC. And all the homework Ms. Fernandez gave. And have to start on the RPG-designing. And have to asemble a new computer. And... if I go any longer I'd probably bore all of you to death now and we wouldn't want that, would we?

*I just remembered that y'all would love to have more pictures than words here, right? Like they say, an equilibrium must be reached.*

Oh and I, for the first time in my entire life, bothered to do Facebook quizzes. Yeah, turns out that I'm a Vampire. It's pretty absurd, yet amusing at the same this. This is the excerpt...

Lol. I'm rendered speechless. Really. Meanwhile I'm Iron Maiden, Randy Rhoads, Thanatos and Crash Bandicoot. Oh yeah, a ninja too. I will definitely kick zombie arse in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

Okay, I'm off to train my sweeps for Canon Rock. After 7.5 hours of talk, you really gave me much encouragement. No joke, thanks a lot.

The Fantasy-Loving, Head-Banging, Heavy-Neo-Classical-Power Metallist, Foo-Fighting Kartolosaurus signs off to infinity and beyond.

PS. Phaseboots is actually a conspiracy theorem website made up by supercalifragilisticexpialidocious people who are trying to waste your time.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [6:40 PM]*

It's 5.30am and I can't freaking sleep. I guess I'll be doing a little trivia about myself later. Anywho, today's an epic birthday celebration for my dear l'il sister, Shi Min.

Everyone had much fun, although tired. I think it's pretty hard to elaborate because we've done so much things in so little time. I wonder what will happen next year when we official can drink liquor. =)

And it's really untrue that I only listen to metal. C'mon, it's 5.45am now and I'm listening to English pop. They're old, but still English pop! Chilling to the songs of Westlife, The Corrs and Dido. Pretty classic eh?

In the midst of the thunderstorm, I think it's quite an irony to listen to such music. Maybe it's because my head is splitting due to the lack of sleep. But it's quite relaxing to listen to good ol' English pop. Then I went to listen to Difficult To Cure by Deep Purple, hah. Really awesome stuff, Blackmoore playing Ode To Joy with Lord. It's a really sad affair that I had never seen Deep Purple live before. But neither have I seen Iron Maiden, Yngwie Malmsteen and a load of other power/heavy metal acts before. For some reason, I think I will be able to relax more if I listened to metal. Which is not really surprising since metal contains classical elements. Hey, if you have a mentality that metal is those American punk rock crap playing their distorted crap without musicality, please, abolish it at once because it's a disgrace to all metal pure. The closest genre you can get to classical music is actually metal. Yes I agree it'll have to depend on the band itself. Nevertheless, I'm one for the metal. \m/

Which reminds me to quickly restring my guitar tomorrow. Been a week since I last touched and it's really screwing me up the mind. I guess guitar's incorporated into my life without me actually knowing it. Oh yeah, today's Sunday and soon there will be school all over again and I'll be dying for the next weekend to arrive and soon it'll be Chinese A'Levels and very soon it'll be the actual A Levels for everything else. Yeah, time flies, I'm soon to be 17 and for all I know, death may just be waiting for me round the corner.

Not that I want a premature and grizzly death though. I want to live a long, fruitful and peaceful life. To be able to travel around some places, get to have long hair, get to do sooo many other stuffs including but not exhaustive: cosplay, play for a band, direct my own game and just have fun.

I wonder why did I suddenly become so... old. Tian Sern brought up something interesting today. He says that I have quite a lot of personas which can adapt to different situations. I guess it's something you'd get when you experience different things in life which may well be negative and leaves you cynical. I guess when you've experienced things which other people would never have experienced before, you see the world with much jaded eyes; you no longer care. I would love to create a simile as such: As cynical as cyanide. But then the only medicine is, of course, music. Try listening to Child In Time by the lovable Deep Purple. You'll immediately see the light tonight.

I shall not further depress nor bore y'all with this boring post of melancholy and depression. I'll try to find something sweet to post about some other time, if I get that inspiration. Oh and I'm all the one for Manchester United. Although I do feel bad that Chelsea lost through totally crappy refereeing.

To end off with a good ntoe, I was extremely touched by Elizabeth this morning. She stayed up till 3.30am to make a card for her mother for Mother's Day! It kinda brightened up my day. :) Well, I'm pretty hungry now, shall make myself some noodles. May the metal be with you!

---

Okay, I'm back from some light sleep. This is really weird, but I dreamt that I had long hair. The sort Jia Ying said yesterday. Feels good though, to have the feel of the rush of the wind with long hair. Feels even better to headbang with long hair, hah! Now all I need is a chain with a cross on my left hand and a ring on my right. Add on with black leather pants and Michael Angelo Batio-ish shirt with Yngwiefied frills. Lol, the perfect rocker outfit.

But I woke up to something scary. I'll be running for Guitar Ensemble EXCO and ... I think this stuff is classified so I can't really say anything yet. But it's something really, REALLY bad. I'm such a wuss, having stage-fright and all. To think that getting a spot in combo band is hard is really an understatement. Wanting to get a spot in EXCO is worse. Faaaar worse.

Then Kai Wei talked to me after over 9000 years of not speaking to me and posted some retarded WoW video where some noobs fail in raiding Onyxia. The raid leader was cursing and swearing and minusing 50 DKP all along. Epic roll though.

||Sheyanne|| wrote to you at [5:25 AM]*

Jovi Kartolo.
17. Half a year to legal age.
-Guitarist-
-Gamer-
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